You know, sometimes I think that had George Orwell been alive, he would have lamented over not writing his famous work ‘1984’ based in Eastasia with King Abdullah as the big brother rather than fictionalizing it in the western society.

No, seriously. Had George Orwell lived a longer life and travelled to the Middle East more, he would have totally based his book on King Abdullah as the Big Brother in Eastasia, considering the fact that the kingdom stays truer to the principles of Ingsoc than any culture or society in living memory. Doesn’t even rival with the Nazis.

Later at night when I lit my own victory cigarette and thought it over, I could see a whole new 1984 materializing before my eyes, definitely a funnier version.

King Abdullah’s seven marriages being a star of the show no doubt. His two young daughters confined to their homes for almost a decade for speaking up for women rights would totally have been branded as traitors to the principles. Oh wait, they actually are being branded as traitors in the eye of the Saudi nation.

Thinking a little more, I could see the uncanny resemblance between the pledge outer party women activists of 1984 took of celibacy to the ban on driving and provocative eyes in the kingdom. Come to think of it, it’s not even that different than being celibate if you’re a female living in Saudia. You can’t go out unsupervised, can’t drive a car, and can’t literally talk to a stranger. Hell, this is even worst than what 1984 showed us and the west considered that one an unimaginable nightmare. Laughable right now, really.

So, the traitors though. What better example than Raif Badawi and his lawyer. One ordered to be lashed 1000 times for speaking up for human rights and the other ordered 15 years of prison time for defending the former. The similarity is making me vaguely nauseous.

Let’s head towards the common people of 1984’s society then. Saudi citizens, like those of 1984 are banned from criticizing the government. They are denied the liberty to have individual thought and it’s not even exaggeration, seeing as Badawi was but only a simple man who liked to blog.

I remember this particular news piece where this woman who fled the kingdom to pursue a better future and her brother was jailed in her place when she couldn’t be apprehended. Funny how that works, really.

Funnier of all though, is this news item I happened to read the other day. This Burmese woman was convicted of raping and murdering her step daughter and therefore beheaded in the streets of Mecca. You’re probably branding me insane for thinking this news can be funny.Well it’s not.

There’s something else; a news item in a popular newspaper about this instance and what I saw in the comments was borderline hilarious. Not one, not a dozen but countless women trying to defend the actions of the kingdom by saying things like: it’s the law; they were serving justice; you just like to target Saudia; Israeli paid newspaper blah blah.

The funny part was that the same kingdom these women have been drooling over for centuries just because it happens to control Muslim holy places declared it illegal last year for a Saudi man to marry a Pakistani woman because they are apparently impure. Come on, this is pretty funny.

The other funny thing is, I don’t recall an out cry of this magnitude or even a smaller fraction when this certain Saudi cleric raped and tortured his own daughter and the government let him go on blood money.

I would go on more but I’m hysterical from all the laughing I have been doing and also I haven’t finished 1984 yet. Be back with more nonsense.