Mina Malik-Hussain

  • The singularly most tedious thing to be told, other than “we don’t have this in your size”, is “chill out”. The phrase is never offered when you actually need it, or accompanied by an enormous ice-cream cone, but, without fail, when one is riled up about something. In ...

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  • There is a national crisis upon us, one that everyone has suffered from no matter what: the National Name Disease. There isn’t a woman, man or child alive who hasn’t been touched by the loath malady. There are many amongst us who suffer from it and refuse to be treated. The dread NND ...

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  • I recently had the dubious privilege of having a conversation with someone living abroad about migrants and taxation. They were grousing about all the refugees who had arrived in their country, taking welfare money and living the good life on it. Ironically, the person I was talking to was South ...

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  • Eid mubarik, readers all. As usual the last ten days of Ramzan seem to bring all kinds of difficult events—people pass on, accidents and grievous harm, that make each Eid also a time for serious reflection on the many blessings we enjoy. But it also had Momina Mustehsan, singer and celebrity, ...

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  • Have you ever wondered where the pedestrians have gone? In most urban places one goes, the only people walking are the ones who are rushing across the road, jaywalking like rebels in the shadow of the overhead walkways. It’s no coincidence that you can’t really walk anywhere even if you ...

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  • Let’s talk about a girl, this week. Early twenties, studying to be a lawyer in a co-ed law school. Bright, pretty, maybe she makes friends easily. Like all friendships forged in first years of college, many fizzle out as one makes new friends or discovers some friends aren’t such a good ...

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  • My partner was away on a course recently, for a month. Before he left many friends jokingly asked if I had given him a few pep talks before he left, sorted him out. Needless to say, I had not been aware that my partner needed ‘sorting out’, and did not give him any kind of advisory ...

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  • Ramzan has begun, and with it comes another reason why religion really should never be the business of the state: the Ehteram-e-Ramzan Bill. Originally an ordinance passed in 1981, our obviously quite under-occupied Senate has turned a five hundred rupee fine into a twenty-five to fifty thousand ...

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  • I recently read about how a woman decided to respond to men’s compliments online with an affirmative. On the dating site Tinder, people approach each other through text after seeing if their profiles are compatible, so this woman would get many men complimenting her. Someone said “you ...

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  • Ah, the ads. It’s always the ads. Many people feel like it’s making a mountain out of a molehill to be critical of advertisements—they are just ways to advertise a product, it’s not meant to be taken seriously, etcetera, infinity. Only it’s never “just” ...

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  • This week I am sorely disappointed. Another one of my dreams has bit the dust and it is really quite tragic indeed. The only thing that redeems the situation is that our government obviously watches a lot of spy movies, because the Senate has squashed a proposal to allow foreigners married to ...

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  • The singularly worst thing to come of modern technology, for the parent, is the internet. Some days I think of my offline childhood and long for those simple days where we only had pirated Radio City VHS tapes of Disney cartoons my grandmother would bring us back from her visits to Karachi, and all ...

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  • Notes from the Underground is in Berlin, and back home Mashal Khan is dead. I am in a city with a dreadful past. Berlin is one of the most important cities in the world, host to philosophers and writers, melting pot of ideas and culture. And yet it is also the city cut in two by opposing ...

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  • As a teacher when I talk to other educators the main reason we often shake our heads and sigh is obviously our students. Teachers are in a unique position of privilege- we see our class almost every day, we know their faces and personalities, their anxieties, the way they interact with their peers. ...

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  • When I was a new mother, I would be at the paediatrician’s every month either for a vaccination or a well-baby visit (don’t ask—the over-indulgences of new parents) or a worry-visit (the kind where you think it’s not a big deal but the baby’s grandparent makes you ...

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  • These days one is sitting in the afterglow of revisiting an old childhood classic, Beauty and the Beast. A live-action film has recently been released, with real actors. It’s a darker, more modern take on the cartoon and as an adult viewer, you see things differently. The biggest musing is of ...

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  • Ever catch yourself standing on a stool, dusting the tops of your bookshelves with those multi-coloured feathery dusters, and wondering why on earth you were doing it? What relevance a clean top-of-a-bookcase has to your life, well-being or mental health? Especially when it’s a high bookcase ...

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  • When I was small I remember the help never sat on the furniture. They would take their shoes off outside the door before they entered a room and would then either remain standing, squat or sit on the floor to speak to my grandmother or whoever it was. The old-school kind of help were for life, so ...

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  • With International Women’s Day on the horizon, it’s only relevant that this, a feminist-activist kind of column, note with pleasure the advertisements for Gul Ahmed floating around these days. It’s refreshing to see popular culture bearing messages of confidence. Be who you are, ...

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  • Did you know how high maternal mortality is in Pakistan? In 2015, according to World Bank statistics, it was 178 per 100,000 live births. Which means for every lakh people, almost two hundred women die. And for every thousand infants born, sixty-six die at birth. This doesn’t sound like so ...

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  • Two dear friends married each other recently, and when weddings happen and many kababs are consumed then philosophy seems to follow in the naan-induced haze. One of them was on the nature of the marriages we contract in this part of the world: the arranged one. When you marry someone you barely ...

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  • Life is stranger than art, and playwright Dario Fo knew this better than many. He wrote darkly funny, heavily satirical plays laden with political subtext in Fascist Italy, when speaking out against the government was dangerous. So he did what clever creative people living under oppressive regimes ...

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  • The Women’s March that happened in over sixty countries all over the world a weekend or two ago was the best thing to happen in 2017 yet. Women and men in every state in America and in countries around the world gathered to protest the Trump administration’s high-handed and ...

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  • I’ve been re-reading Virginia Woolf’s famous, wonderful essay “A Room of One’s Own”. For the unfamiliar: English novelist Woolf wrote an essay on women and writing, women and their careers essentially, and why there haven’t been enough women creating fiction. A ...

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  • Sometimes I wonder if we aren’t all really trapped inside some thoroughly complex sci-fi world where everything is being controlled by the deepest secret agency whose plan was this all along. The only other explanation for the filibustering we spend our lives indulging in is that we’re ...

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  • We’ve succeeded in adding to our National List of Petty Rubbish: singer Taher Shah has left the country. The man was a fabulously bonkers musician, internet-famous for songs like ‘Eye to Eye’ and ‘Angels’, his really, really long hair and penchant for green and blue ...

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  • Happy new year, even if you don’t think it’s a big deal! One can’t deny that the idea of a fresh start is quite appealing—the thought that you can leave the past behind a little and try to do things differently in the new year. Us People of the East don’t really ...

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  • I am, for my sins, now on more social media than I was before (needs must, etc). And since I’m there, there are naturally many, many photographs of people wearing shadi clothes (because what’s the point of being as dressed-up as the bride if nobody else sees it?). And since there are ...

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  • I have been watching a rather interesting show on the way Queen Elizabeth the Second- the current reigning monarch of England- ascended the throne. The show follows her from a young newlywed who then becomes Queen much sooner than she anticipated when her father dies young (in his fifties, which ...

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  • My grandfather was a civil servant his entire career, but he loved poetry. English, Urdu, Persian—he knew his poetry inside out, a lifelong love. At some point, after he retired from the Railways, he wrote a textbook, a guide to Persian poetry for college students. It was a slim volume, ...

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