When a stereotypical desi boy gets in touch with a stereotypical desi girl, he tries to be the softest person on earth. After hearing her jarring replies – I don’t talk with strangers; I am not ‘that type’ – he says to himself, “She isn’t that pretty.”

But after a week or so, desi girl’s texts make headlines:

“I am not sleepy…” 

“I never even talked with a guy before…”

“You are the first one…”   

 “I don’t trust boys…”  

When you don’t have a good back-foot defense, you should try front-foot strokes to avoid an lbw decision. Here, the credit goes to our ‘wooly culture’. Inside Pakistan – mostly in cities – people live in a “perplexed social circle”. The rich class has a superiority complex of ominous nature. They advocate western lifestyle. On the other hand, a major chunk only gazes at ‘desi girls’ in astonishment. The same class brings ‘religion’ in matters of their interest.

From day 1, she is told not to remove her dupatta. However, nobody in the family cares about her veil in family functions. She is even encouraged to dance by the same people – including her mother – who once taught her ‘dressing ethics’.

Every evening, she watches desi dramas on television with her family. Desi dramas are a pre-requisite, and most of them only discuss marriages. At home, she watches Hollywood movies recommended by her friends. She also sees her friend getting so many likes on her new profile picture.

Her final personality indirectly depends on her father’s income. Some of it also depends on her scores. But generally, money happens to be the key factor in deciding between schools. And schools then groom her in different styles.

Pakistani girls top board exams. They score more in contrast to boys but they end up wedding a fat guy recommended by their father. They are ‘nowhere’ in the larger national interest. ‘Desi girls’ do jobs while ‘smart girls’ go shopping. 

The blunder is a result of an eastern mind trying to adopt a western style. I am not advocating western norms for society’s transformation here. But good things can be adopted and bad things can be erased. And it will only happen when parents understand some basic human traits.

Times have changed. Instead of giving her antidepressants, give her some confidence. Let her live in a brave new world, a place without labels. Make her a geek who can run the country. Don’t just allocate seats in the provincial assemblies, educate her.