The more you tell me to get married, the further it pushes me towards my dreams

I want to be a self-made intellectual, a girl who’s not just a doll but exists as an individual too with at least some identifiable status in the society

As an eastern girl who is in her mid twenties, pursuing her career and living her life to the fullest, I am a target of usual criticism for chasing my dreams at a ‘ripe age'. I’m told I should be a mother to two children, instead of running after my career-oriented goals.

First and foremost, here’s a shout out to everyone out there who constantly looks down upon those women who are incapable of, or simply not interested in, scoring a husband like a medal. 

The girls in my society have their dreams and aspirations starting from marriage, ending at honeymoon. The paradox of their life is that even if they are the unhappiest ones after scoring in-laws, they will still be most concerned about the single girls’ marital status.

Haters need to stop throwing their desperate questions to me. Your questions on whether or not I'll ever get married appear to be frantic attempts that can’t conceal the evident jealousy. The more you tell me or all those happily-single-women out there that we are “losing our youth”, the stronger you make us.

Being honest, if I were at your place, I would be more worried about how sad it is that just to suit your husband’s needs you’ve ruined your self-worth and forgotten your careers and education to achieve a happy groom.

I would definitely love to get married when I want to, when I’m prepared for it. When I can sense that it is time that I can be a mother, a woman whose children look up to their mommy in their lives, who is not dumb and couldn’t be respected due to her illiterate backward mentality. I’ll get married when I'm an example for my parents and family who are proud of me when I am shifting away from their house. I’ll get married when my to-be husband sees me as a successful woman who is worthy of respect and he feels proud of whatever his wife has accomplished in her life.

I’ll get married when I'm not like that dolled up ‘gudda guddi’ bride, decorated in glittery red clothes and heavy jewelry, covered with tones of makeup, all set to be sent with a man who is mesmerized with her physicality, a beauty without brain. Instead, I want to be a self-made intellectual, a girl who’s not just a doll but exists as an individual too with at least some identifiable status in the society. 

I'm a sovereign, self-made, self-sufficient, independent, free, single woman who is achieving something in her life every day with the love of her wonderful family. I’m a girl whose dreams are higher than your voices against her.

Izah Shahid is a member of staff. She could be reached at theizahshahid@gmail.com & Twitter

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