I Am Weasel is an American animated television series created for Cartoon Network. The series centers on I.M. Weasel, a smart, beloved and highly successful weasel, and I.R. Baboon, an unsuccessful and unintelligent baboon who is jealous of Weasel’s success and constantly tries to upstage him.

And our very own, the very alluring Imran Khan has got a lot of talent – the talent of being both Weasel and Baboon.

The I.M. Weasel Era

Well, when we normally think about Imran Khan, we draw an image of the savior of Pakistan in our minds – the man with whose efforts we were able to lay our hands on the Cricket World Cup in 1992, otherwise a bizarre and vain hope. He was then well-known globally for his charity work through his Shaukat Khanum scheme. This, here, is an image of the Weasel – and a highly adored and extremely popular one at that. Whattay weasely feat!

But that wasn’t enough for him, was it!? He desired more. Maybe he had the interest of the people at heart. Or – to draw a typically South Asian comparison – he was like a newly married daughter-in-law trying to impress her in-laws by her kind gestures and good deeds, our administration being the typical ‘saas’ (mother-in-law) trying to keep everything under her control and not letting the ‘bahoo’ (daughter-in-law) achieve her peaceful goals. This, eventually, forced her into turning into a Baboon.

Other factors affecting the mind flux of our beloved Weasel and responsible for turning him into Baboon were: firstly, rigging in the 2013 Elections, then some more rigging, and then some more, so on and so forth.

The Aftermath

Our beloved Weasel became so distraught and sentimental that he left his home and started living in a luxurious container (God knows what was missing in that imprudent box). He planned to stage a protest, and almost everyone we’d come across took part in it, enthusiastically. Everything was going great for him, the people were with him, full of optimism, waiting for the Weasel to become their grand savior, to protect their country from boundless threats and enemies–

Too much smugness to digest, eh!?

The Transformation

One of the most famous lines of Imran Khan is “Tabdeeli aa nahin rahi, tabdeeli agayi hai!”  I wonder what sort of tabdeeli (change) he was after; organic or inorganic!?

Then came his reply in the form of concrete action: when the entire nation had its eyes set on him, came the stunt of his marriage. I mean, second marriage. Are you for real?! Mr. Weasel, we were expecting ‘Naya-Pakistan’, not your walimay ka khana (wedding dinner)! And Mrs. Weasel, being the smartest of all, was another startling character; honestly, a sharp dip in his popularity. When she, with due respect, started opening her mouth and publicized Weasel’s personal life, the picture of this picture perfect Weasel got so messed up that people were like, “Okay! Let’s go back to square one” – we are better off with the underpasses, flyovers, Metro buses and Orange Line trains!

The I.R. Baboon Stage

After the fiasco of the second marriage and the second divorce, another issue popped up: the Panama papers. And, then, Imran Khan found another complaint – after the rigging – to play on a loop.

These days, he is utterly out of rheostat – the high volume of protests has possible taken its toll, and he seems tired and envious because of the eminence that he so desired was snatched out of his jaws and given to those-who-must-not-be-named. In short: he has turned into I.R. Baboon.

Fame is not lice that you can pick out of another’s head! It’s always hard work and loyalty that pays off in the end, and fame and success ends up with the one who had more knowledge than you. Everybody is trying to fit into the same sized shirt, these days. Like a writer who starts singing, a painter who starts operating, a doctor who starts sewing – and a commoner sitting on a throne!

And you, Mr. Imran Khan, why don’t you let others clean the dirty laundry and, contrariwise, do whatever you are actually good at i.e. endearing peoples’ hearts? But, alas, his battery-operated mind is recharged and I can see him coming back with another protest! People, brace yourselves, winter is comin’ – and so is Imran Khan! AGAIN actually.