Chairman Senate Nayyar Bukhari’s suggestion that a handsome amount of dowry should be fixed for brides comes from a place of concern and sympathy with poor families but it doesn’t solve the problem of dowry itself. In our society as well as others in the neighboring countries, the worth of a marrying woman is settled by the monetary value she brings with herself. It could be in the form of household utilities, jewelry and other items but it is never herself that seems worthwhile. From the very get-go, she is not seen as a human being who is far more valuable than the bucks she brings along.
Our politicians and civil society need to learn a basic fact: Embellishing a problem does not clear the problem. You can make dowry look as manageable as you want, but it does not change the reality that the bride is only being perceived as an opportunity by her in-laws. Furthermore, families who – for some reason or the other – remain deprived of the dowry scheme suggested by Chairman Senate Nayyar Bukhari still face humiliation and fear of rejection regardless. As a custom, it is deplorable and yet rigorously practiced by even the supposedly educated and empowered. It only shows how deeply ingrained it is in our social fabric.
The present narrative on dowry needs to be radically altered altogether. It must not be about increasing it or making it more preferable for the groom’s family. The discourse on dowry needs to change and it is only possible when politicians and NGO units reject the custom altogether and help poverty stricken brides through other means that do not compromise her value as a human being. It’s not a tough job, really. It only requires being honest and determined in calling a spade a spade. Just like a ridiculous custom is, after all, a ridiculous custom.