The Subcontinent was freed from the British in 1947, yet, if we look closely at society and its norms today, we may find the footprints of that British mindset prevalent within ourselves. Be it the obsession with the English language, the fair complexion, or the epidemic - class structure - our minds are still caged.

One may ponder what this class structure is and how is it prevalent in society today?

Class structure is the categorisation of an individual on the basis of their socioeconomic standing. This implies that your worth in society is dependent on the amount of wealth you possess, but in Pakistan it goes a little further. With the addition of an individual's residential area, their level of spoken English, and the school they attend, they are most commonly classified as a ‘Burger’ or ‘Jaali burger’. While 'Burger' is a local term used for the people born with money, the term 'Jaali burger' is used to describe an individual who’s trying to break into the upper class. Depending on the social class of an individual, which, for most Pakistanis belong to middle-class, the people of the upper-class will tend to remind you of your ‘auqat’ and what can you do to transform yourself from a 'Jaali burger to a Burger'.

While they may not tell you how to improve your intellectual skills, they’ll tell you where in Pakistan or for that matter, where in Karachi should you be living to make yourself the so-called elite. Living in Orangi, Korangi, FB Area and Saddar makes you an alien. You’re untouchable. And there is no way you’ll rise up to the level of the elites; however, if you’re from Gulshan-e-Iqbal, Gulistan-e-Johar or North Nazimabad, there’s some hope for you. You should socialise with the people living in preferably PECHS or DHA to get rid of those epidemic ‘small-town’ habits. In addition to hanging out with the folks in these particular areas, you should know how to speak English fluently. It really doesn’t matter if you can’t spell words like address and twinning correctly, or if you don’t know that there’s no need of adding space before a comma, but if you can blabber the words like chic, nigga or man and can fake an American accent, that's also not perfectly; Congratulations! You may have a chance of becoming a spider in this vicious web called, elites.

While doing all these things will surely help you to make the transition to elitism easy don’t ever forget to read Harry Potter, regardless of how racist it is. Of course, it is not annoying when the book classifies students of Wizardry as pure blood, and the Muggles as ordinary magicians. The other thing on your bucket list should be attending a Model United Nations (MUN’s) where you make a serious face so that you can get a perfect candid photograph. Not that everyone comes there to take photos, some people actually want to debate, albeit being very less in numbers. Also, don’t ever forget to attend the after conference beach parties, where they teach you to become ‘cool’ by introducing you to new alcohol and beer brands. You can actually boast about your expertise in alcohol later in front of a few elites. Wow! Very cool, no? In addition to this, it is important that you study at Aitchison, LGS, KGS, Lyceum, Beaconhouse or Southshore, to name a few. You must be pursuing your education from The Cambridge Board because coming from Metric Board will make you look filthy, disgusting and ‘gawar’. You don’t want to be that, do you?

Now that you know everything you need to become an elite, you should go and start following this guide religiously. But be aware that this rather fake elitism will come at a cost- it will develop in you some deep complexes about yourself- you may start hating your height, your complexion or for that matter your ‘thick’ Pakistani accent. You will lose a sense of self and may go into identity crisis. The obsession with brands and the English language will make you undermine your cultural and socioeconomic identity, and you may not have anyone to identify yourself with. In addition to that, you’ll always follow someone else, you will never lead your life in your own way, and the lifestyle of your elite friends will dictate yours. But who cares about all of that? Personality development is not going to help you socialise with elites, nor is it going to help you land a job, where the first thing employers see is your educational institution. If it is a private institution and you can blabber English, they are surely going to hire you. If not, well then may God help you! So go, become an elite now! .

Thank me later for the invaluable tips!