I belong to a family where forgiveness is close to non existence. Don't start judging now, it's not our fault just runs in our blood and was never thought to be something bad. 25 years ago my father found a woman who was totally opposite to how he is. They both became a real life magnet, my father the North pole and my mother being the South one. The North side also kind of represents the coldness but luckily my father isn't that cold.

I consider myself a mixture of both, it's clear why. My father always says how he lost so much buried under the ego and not even moving a finger trying to lift it off of him. I wonder why he regrets that, after all, he's the one who gives too much and gets nothing in return, he has the right to have that ego.

Then, I think about my mother she's an angle dressed as a human, with zero ego and forgiving to an extent that I sometimes highly dislike. I am both The North and The South, cold to the point I could freeze someone to death, warm enough to melt the ice.

I was once filled with just ego and nothing else, I felt too much so kept my walls up. I gave too much, but grew tired so whenever someone came around I pulled the shutters down. I thought how this is wrong but something inside me said, "Don't give it up, this runs in your blood, don't be a disgrace to the family." There's a huge difference between my father and my mother. He never forgets and that means no forgiveness. She feels deeply but forgets the reason she's mad at someone, holds no grudge and just forgives. I am like my Father, I am, my father. I'm so proud to be his daughter but it still hurts sometimes because we don't forgive.

We carry the weight of the pain someone caused us throughout our lives, the ego adds to the weight, we feel our hearts growing heavier by the minute but no, too much pride to let it all go. Someone close to me once said something that changed the way I think about life and forgiveness. That person said, "If we don't forgive someone and that person doesn't even know that we're holding a grudge against them, we're the one who's gonna get punished for that in the end." This made me realize that there's no excuse of having so much pride inside that you hate the word forgiveness.

Nobody knows if you hate them, they're too busy to care and you're here sitting around letting the pile of bad thoughts grow like weeds in a garden. Your mind is a garden full of beautiful flowers and many seeds that would grow into more beautiful flowers, why corrupt it by planting weeds? I learned so much from my father, the situation inside his heart taught me how I'm not going to allow the weeds grow inside. My mother helped me move on from something toxic, something that I thought I would die of but not forgive or forget.

This might be a forgiveness letter to someone who was once my escape. I wasted my time on thinking about how I would die but not forgive that person, it was slowly poisoning the blood that passed through my body and my mind that was supposed to be a garden. This might just be a letter you all need to read to cleanse your heart and forgive everyone who hurt you. Let your heart breathe in the fresh air that it was deprived of for so long. Ask for forgiveness from someone who you think you've hurt in the past help them move on from the pain. Cherish the love, the care, the forgiveness. Letting the weed grow is another type of suicide. You're alive yet you're slowly dying. Let the warmth of the South melt the ice of the North.