Asif Zardari would probably agree that what you gain on the swings, you lose on the roundabouts. The release of Dr Asim Hussain on bail is another piece of good news for him. The removal of Ayyan Ali’s name from the Exit Control List, the successful appeal of Maulana Hamid Saeed Kazmi in the Haj scandal, the bail granted to Sharjeel Memon all came before.

However, these were all domestic cases. True, Ayyan Ali immediately used the absence of official restriction to go to Dubai, even though Zardari had come from there a couple of months earlier. And true, Dr Asim was obliged to give both his Pakistani and Canadian passports before being released. But then, Memon had been given pre-arrest bail in a multi-billion corruption case, and for being involved in illegal allotment of a plot. Did the passage of the 22nd Amendment and the Army Act amendment, allowing military courts to try militants, have anything to do with this?

Whether it did or not, Park Gyeun-hye, the recently ousted President of South Korea, had insult added to injury by being arrested. Zardari is said to be sensitive about ex-Presidents. Park may be the daughter of a military dictator, but as Zardari would point out, her father Park Chung-hee was the military ruler of South Korea, not Pakistan. And she was ousted for corruption, even though there was no presence of Imran Khan at all. He is also uneasy at the idea that she was ousted after supporters gathered to demand her ouster, and that the South Korean Constitutional Court upheld the ouster by the legislature, while the Supreme Court has yet to rule on the Panamagate case. But Zardari is not so harsh on corruption, so long as he gets his share.

Of course, an acquittal means that the case is once again unsolved, and the police must find a culprit. Bail is a satisfactory solution, as it means that the police still has an arrested accused, but that accused is not in jail. Of course, the prosecution might still go after the police to dig up the evidence needed to get that bail cancelled, but unless it does, the police pay the case no further attention.

Of course, there is the defence that there isn’t a case to answer, that the offence didn’t happen. Like saying that there was no Haj scam, and that arrangements were perfectly fine. Or that there were no gang-wars in Lyari in which anyone got wounded. Or that Ayyan Ali wasn’t taking any money abroad, and the money recovered from her were planted by Ch Nisar Ali himself.

Well, it seems Dr Asim’s release might not go down well in Sindh. After all, now the Sindh Higher Education Commission no longer has a jailbird for its head. And going by the Punjab University’s recent experience, you need the street cred that time brings if you want to get across to today’s students. And we should not forget where the people of whom Dr Asim is so afraid, the Rangers, got some of their first recent experience in Karachi: at Karachi University, in student clashes there. Someone should tell Dr Asim that the Rangers are a fine, upstanding body of men, happiest among their books, and kind to animals.

Militancy is not restricted to universities. At least there wasn’t one in Parachinar, where 24 people were killed in a blast outside an imambargah. There was also an Ahmedi killed in Nankana Sahib. Now those killed in Parachinar have not been declared non-Muslim by Parliament, while Ahmedis have been. Of course, Parliament did not prescribe being Ahmedi as an offence at all, let alone a capital one. But where militants are killing Shias for being Shias, and not because there’s a monetary dispute, Ahmedis may well find themselves at risk, even if they’ve kept themselves away from any kind of monetary dispute. And I assume that distaste for studies (especially physics) didn’t play a role, even though the deceased was a cousin of Dr Abdus Salam, the first Pakistani Nobel Laureate, who was an Ahmedi.

I don’t suppose militants mark April Fool’s Day. No, killing is too serious to be considered a prank. But the weather has been unseasonably warm. Yes, I know we should expect warm weather at the beginning of April, but surely it isn’t supposed to be this warm. Is this Nature’s April Fool’s joke this year, at our expense? What is not an April Fool’s gag is the decision by Gujerat, Narendra Modi’s home state, to make cow slaughter punishable with life imprisonment. They’re entirely serious. So all those Gujeratis who want to slaughter cows had better do so out of the State. But don’t get caught transporting them, and if you do, at least have some excuse other than slaughtering them, unless you want 10 years in the neck. Keep the BJP in office a little longer, and you’ll have the death sentence next.