Why female child seems burden in patriarchal society?

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The reason why our country lags behind in various economic sectors is because our women are trapped inside a bubble of social inequality where men do not allow them to come forward and prove their worth on equal footing

2020-12-04T15:55:00+05:00 Mehmil Khalid Kunwar

In times of ignorance, a girl when born was not even allowed to take few breaths and buried by her male guardians in order to avoid shame (associated with the birth of a female child) or escape the burden of her existence. The brutal tradition, however, got obliterated, following the teachings of Holy Prophet (PBUH) but, unfortunately, the old traces of such ignorance, in other forms, are still existing today. In a society as that of Pakistan where Islam is being misused in settling most of the social affairs and family dealings, mistreating a girl and depriving her of her major rights are no exception.

Right from the day when a girl is born, she is being realised that she is inferior to her male counterparts and has to compromise on all the decisions of her life. Be it her father, brother, husband, or a male relative, she has to keep her voice low at all the family occasions and is not allowed to express her emotions loudly and enthusiastically. She has to adjust herself according to the environment that her family prefers and at times, has to give up on her dreams in order to fulfil their expectations. If she is found fighting off the cultural taboos overcoming her intrinsic fears, she has to face criticism not only from the society but also from her family members especially her paternal side (as most South Asian families are against a girl's liberty and independence).

In a male dominant society, a girl feels nothing less than a burden upon her family or perhaps someone who always brings misery from the day she acquires her existence. Given the existing gender gap in all the social sectors, parents have to struggle enough to satisfy her needs especially providing her basic education and getting for herself a safe shelter. Luckily, if they desire to make her a self-sufficient person working independently, they literally have to walk on the heated coals to maintain her reputation in the society and guard her chastity owing to the prevalence of unwise social practices and no provision of expected justice. Most of the parents, as a consequence, do not seek daughter as a child so that they can easily avert the double burden - a burden to raise her and to protect her virginity.  

Considering a girl as a "burden", parents often want to marry her at a very early age due to societal pressure and under the pretext of "discharging their responsibilities on time" without letting the girl complete her education and attaining enough maturity. The curse of dowry has also made them dispose of her in marriage as early as possible as they fear they might get short of money with time to satisfy the materialistic needs of her in-laws, hence, face disgrace. Contrarily, this is not the case for a male child. With having a son in parallel, parents feel more blessed and are found to invest happily on him because they think he will support the family, bringing both money and a girl, after his marriage and it is comparatively better to spend more on him in order to ensure a safe social and financial return while daughters on the other hand, have to leave their house one day so it would be a half-witted idea to invest on her growth and wellbeing. It is a common sight in the mainstream society where having a son means gaining "izzat and fakhar" and having a daughter means acquiring "boojh or zillat". Perhaps, that is why most Pakistani couples are found reproducing more and more in greed of having more number of sons than daughters.

To undo this social behaviour that has been widely reinforced in our personalities since decades, there is a need to change the mindset of people. It is high time to spread awareness and make people realise that "girls are NOT a burden" and should not be treated likewise. Parents at home, and teachers in the school, should make a part of their upbringing the criteria to make both men and women learn the "rights" of women and strive to introduce the concepts of "mutual tolerance" and "mutual respect" when working together. Social environment should be favourable so that a girl can easily work on her dreams without getting threatened from any side. The practice to treat a girl as a burden should be discouraged on every platform as this kind of behaviour does not exist in developed countries, where women feel empowered and motivated to pursue their dreams and careers even after getting married. The reason why our country is lagging behind in various economic sectors is because our women are trapped inside a bubble of "social inequality" where men do not allow them to come forward and prove their worth on equal footing. This bubble should be immediately burst in order to liberate women from the prison of such patriarchal thoughts that hinder their excellence.

Being the "queen" of her house or the "angel" in the family, she is truly a great "blessing" and owes an extremely sacred position in the society. While rejecting the notion that "she is a burden", she must be given that place without her begging for it.

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