As tensions heighten ahead of an opposition rally aimed at toppling the government, the military has been called in to ensure law and order in the federal capital’s key television studios for the next three months.
“The troops will ensure that the participants speak on their turn, and that the callers turn down the volume of their televisions when they are on air,” a security official told reporters at a press conference in the federal capital. “The military will serve as a rapid response force taking immediate action against any participant who speaks too loud, especially when engaged in meaningless rhetoric.”
The decision has been made in line with Article 245 of the Constitution and Anti-terrorism Act of 1997, he said, which allow the military to come in aid of civil authorities to deal with any untoward situation and preempt politicians on TV from terrorizing the audience.
Critics of the decision believe the move is aimed at countering the increasing influence of Tehrik-e-Insaf on television. Activists of the party, led by former cricketer Imran Khan, are known to win debates by being loud and obnoxious in real life, and have now been trying to employ the strategy on television.
“I only wanted to listen to the headlines but I turned the television on a few minutes before 9pm,” one survivor of a political talk show disclosed. “I am still traumatized by what I saw – furious semi-literate men and women frothing at the mouth uttering unbefitting diatribes against each other and their leaders. I turned off the TV fearing an impending fistfight. But it was too late.” He is still under treatment.
One child accidentally pressed the wrong button on the remote control and was exposed to intimate encounters of Imran Khan. An analyst said women scare their children to sleep in millions of homes in Pakistan threatening to put on 11pm political debates on TV.
Some analysts believe the decision to call in the army might backfire. “Imagine Qamar Zaman Kaira intellectually debating with Shafqat Mehmood as a silent Moeed Peerzada looks on,” one expert said. “Can you imagine anything scarier than that?”
The security official said the army will also ensure correct pronunciation on news bulletins and talk shows, although the authorities are still debating on a suggestion to place snipers at strategic locations behind cameramen to act immediately in case someone mispronounces the word Pakistan. Thousands of fans of Chaudhry Shujaat took to the streets as soon as the decision was leaked to protest against the likely decision to disallow mispronunciation. They were holding banners and placards condemning the move, and burnt an effigy of Chaudhry Shujaat’s speech therapist. “We want the original Chaudhry Shujaat back on TV.”
Public opinion is divided on the issue.
“First of all, I want to congratulate you for putting together such a great program,” one caller told a television anchor before he was scolded for not turning down the volume of his television. “I support this decision,” he said as his voice echoed endlessly before the producer disconnected him.
Another caller disagreed. “The previous caller is my brother and I respect him a lot,” he said, “He is an experienced political worker and I have learned a lot from his wisdom and insight, but what he is saying is utter nonsense.”
Meanwhile, a recent survey carried out by a media watchdog says 92.1 percent of prime time on news channels is dedicated to talk shows. “Of the time that is given to the news, 27.9 percent is dedicated to entertainment – mostly how many years it has been since some famous actor or vocalist died or was born – and 25.9 percent to international news – which consists mostly of funny YouTube videos, such as someone who fell off their bicycle while doing a stunt at a park in Germany,” a representative of the organization explained. “About 85.4 percent of people go to Twitter for news.”
The author has a degree in Poetics of Prophetic Discourse and works as a Senior Paradigm Officer.
harris@nyu.edu
@cyborgasms