I don’t always read Orya Maqbool Jaan . But when I do, I do it with a boxful of stress balls.

It’s not that what he says is utter rubbish. It is the way he connects the dots from perhaps one viable argument to another that makes the entire argument incomprehensible. Like what he’s done in his article by blaming all the evils of society on shampoos and body lotions.

According to Mr. Orya, and I quote:

“The woman who decides to cover her face and body challenges this thriving industry and is, therefore, targeted by the capitalists who are the operators of this whole business…This business begins with beauty products and continues to flourish in the form of fashion industry, media, advertising, dress designing, vulgar movies and the global mafia of prostitution.”  

According to him, a woman in a hijab is being victimized by liberals because they want to sell shampoo. Quite right. If every woman wore a hijab, the sales for shampoo would devastatingly plummet because hijabi women don’t shampoo. They have a bird’s nest for hair. All tousled and unbrushed and unwashed and full of lice underneath that fine silky religious garb.

It makes perfect sense too because why would a hijabi woman shampoo her hair? To what purpose? It’s not like she has a man in her pure life she’d like to sexually entice. (Husband? Who that?). And, perchance, if she ever was lucky enough to get one, it’s not like he’d ever be allowed to run his fingers through his wife’s hair. I mean that’s why she wears a hijab all the time – all the times that she’s in front of men who’re not married to her so obviously she must wear it in the privacy of her home as well, right? Same goes for hair color and good clothes and smooth skin and healthy figures and everything from her nail color to hairclips.

Besides, a woman, hijabi or not, isn’t human enough to appreciate silky, smooth, luscious hair on her own head, to marvel at her own pretty reflection in the mirror, to feel the hug of a smartly tailored outfit. In short, a woman isn’t allowed to feel sexy unless she’s commanded to by a man, and that too must only be for him whether she likes it or not. Her opinion is of no regard whatsoever.

After all, women have neither any use nor can have any appreciation for their own bodies. They have no right to their own body. They have no right to look beautiful, feel beautiful just for themselves. It’s always, always, for the men whether they are relevant to the woman’s life or not. Because of course, a woman’s beauty is only relevant when a man can see, use and appreciate it.

These rules never apply to men, however. These beauty products don’t apply to men either because men do not shampoo, bathe, use soap or cologne, dress smartly or brush their teeth to look, smell, feel nice. Male models are also always very modest and utterly non-sexy, almost burqa-clad, so as to not entice female viewers. In fact, whoever thought that women are entice-able or capable of having any feelings that way like real human beings was totally out of his mind. 

You see, it’s quite clear.

Next time you’re looking for who to blame in a rape case, just barge into your bathroom, hold that bottle of Pantene (or what have you, they’re all the same) choke it by the neck (it has one) and growl, “You vile, evil, villain!” and toss it into the trash can. Justice served.

You must appreciate Orya’s genius.

Watching an ad of Fair & Lovely on TV will lead a man to rape his next door neighbor’s daughter. And if the next door neighbor has no daughter then his son will do, too.

After all, it were the ads, the beauty products, the nice clothes, the vulgar movies that encouraged an Imam – an Imam – to rape and kill a five year old boy in his mosque. How enticing and exactly in what way, would Orya Maqbool like to elaborate, was that little boy to suffer what he did? Which ad would you deem responsible for his rape and murder and for the rapes and murders of hundreds of children like him who haven’t even stepped into adulthood to even have the bodies that can lure? Or was it one of Mussarat Shaheen’s meaty thumkas (which are never aired on TV by the way) that had the offender brimming with testosterone that he offloaded on his little victim?

While our brothers in faith and humanity in Turkey are fighting for women’s rights to dress as they want and still be safe, Orya Jaan is blaming shampoo ads for rape. A shampoo? Really? A model who looked good on TV is responsible for the sick and twisted acts of sexual abuse forced upon an innocent girl in a village, in college, in her own house? Why is it that we never blame the mindset of the rapist/aggressor/perpetrator? Why is the blame not placed where it belongs?

The fact that a person has the capacity to do the right thing, to not go watch a vulgar movie, to not share a rape video, to take responsibility for his own actions has no place in the societal setup that people like Orya Maqbool Jaan struggle to uphold.

Please, just stop! Stop blaming violence against women and children on women and children.

There’s only one reason for violence and abuse of any kind: the offender.