S:    Say “protect our culture” one more time, and I’ll spill this hot coffee all over you.

A:    What’s your problem? Why does my affinity towards a culture I was born and raised in, a culture that gave me so much, taught me values from respecting elders to caring for a sick neighbor, bother you so much? It made me who I am today, and I’m glad for it, even though I know you disapprove.

S:    If only you realised what it took from you, what it didn’t teach you, and the lessons you could’ve seriously done without. Values that you refer to are not exclusive to your culture, but they are universal. Respect for parents, loving thy neighbor, all that is common in most societies. They might not practice it, but they all preach it, just like it’s done here. And which culture are you talking about here exactly? The tribal culture, the urban culture, the rural culture or the Saudi one?

A:    I don’t know, Sadiq. Which one do you think? The one that I grew up in! The one that is under attack from both liberal extremists such as yourself and religious fundamentalists. One wants me to wear a turban and keep my ankles exposed at all costs while the other wishes I go topless in summers and get a tattoo on my forehead.

S:    Blame the vulnerability of your culture, not me. Did you think that it was going to remain unchanged? Does anything ever stay the same? The only thing lamentable here is that it is changing for the worse. And honestly, that makes perfect sense to me because ‘your’ culture is inherently prejudicial, patriarchal and hypocritical. Big deal if the turban replaces the skullcaps. Don’t worry, you’ll still in the same club, just a different room.

A:    So what would you prefer? That we adapt to the Western culture you so cherish overnight? That women start exposing themselves, men start marrying each other, children start engaging in sex at 12? You will sorely miss the large family and close-knit community that you find suffocating right now when you’re dying alone in some apartment in New York.

S:    Oh, because all that is so much worse than keeping women locked up and forcing them into marriages, men dominating every aspect of our life like its their birth right and children being ruled by fear and growing up with no sense of individuality. I would welcome this culture’s complete destruction. It will be a leap forward for humanity.