S:     Is another Pakistan cricket match coming up? I can tell one is near when you start getting agitated after browsing cricket websites.

A:     That’s very observant of you, do you expect a medal for your showing? Our team is shambolic, I'd be lucky to survive this World Cup, considering all the heartache in store for me.

S:     On the bright side, the World Cup has provided us numerous ways of generating humour, have you seen that parody page of Nasir Jamshed on Twitter, it is hilarious. Shoaib Akhter was very funny on Comedy Nights with Kapil too, have you seen it?

A:     I have, and I lost all respect for Shoaib Akhter the minute it ended, to think I used to idolise him at one stage...

S:     Why, what did poor Shoaib do to offend you now?

A:     Poor Shoaib is getting rich. He was a past member of our team, an integral member of our team, and he is poking fun at that same team on an Indian comedy show, which, if you might have forgotten, happen to be our rivals. It is disgraceful, where is the spirit of the team and loyalty? He is lowering our confidence when renowned ex-players like him should be building it up

S:    You don’t respect him anymore because he made fun of the Pakistani cricket team? That is ridiculous. You and I are doing that right now. The whole nation is doing that. How is this ground for criticism? And as far as ex cricketers and foreign shows go, where do you stand on Ramiz Raja and Wasim Akram, both of whom criticize Pakistan while commentating. Just because their jabs are made with a commentator’s formality doesn’t make them any differ from Shoaib’s.

A:     I don't think you’ll ever understand, it is fine to draw neat distinctions like the one you did right now, but there is a difference, one you cannot measure, but feel. Everyone has the right to criticize, isn’t that what you are saying? Then I am free to criticize Shoaib’s greed for fame and lack of team solidarity, and you are free to criticize me.