In social meetings you will encounter a cross-section of humanity with seemingly nothing in common except their gawkiness, scale it towards positivity or negativity. A few days back, I happened to attend a very chipper gathering. While everybody was busy chatting around; I stood hushed, initially because I was unwell and later just to notice the enriching mixture of personalities the crowd had. I noticed these are the personality types we have in almost all of the gatherings so I classified them into the following types.

The Text Engine:

Tapping furiously on the phone, trying to be a social climber by pretending to be very busy, or simply having no confidence, s/he is always drooping on the cell screen. You know the top of this person’s head well, probably the dandruff and head lice as well, since their face is always directed downwards.

The Livewire:

An uncle or elderly cousin who’s got-all! Someone who has at least three degrees, probably studied abroad, and has a high paying job while juggling the gathering at the same time. Surely a high flyer. The over achiever will probably win the gathering by his useful experiences and advices.

The Assassins:

The title tells all! They will toss you down with veiled attacks, overtones, and sarcasm. Basically, they are sheep, living in the utopia of being lions. Annoying, cynical, boisterous poor souls that make fun of everyone in the family and get away with it because the gathering is too shy or may be too impressed by them to confront them. I just wish they could drink their own words and realize how bitterly absurd they taste.

The Shy-Guy:

Or girl of course. Excruciatingly shy. Maybe in first few meetings you thought they were dumb or something but one fine day, you miraculously heard them, although it was an indiscernible squeak. When there are get-togethers, either you do not see them or they just make an excuse and bolt as soon as possible.

The Rolling Stone:

They’re often used as a cautionary anecdote. They will tell anyone about the numerous times they were so close to success until someone else screwed them over. They live by two staple beliefs: it’s never their fault and someone is always out to get them. The phrase “why me” is very popular amongst them. They love when people feel sorry for them.

The Chinwagger:

There always is some problem with them. A person who yaps and yaps and yaps all day. They are the chatterboxes we would never like to hear again in our lives. Senseless, silly talk is all they have to offer you.

The Helicopter:

It is someone who likes to get under your skin. Sadly the annoyingly caring aunty or in some cases even uncles cannot be given any other reasonable title. They will hover over you nauseatingly to ask when you will be finally hitched. Or have a baby. Or have another baby. Or get a job! Please someone answer her.

The Sagacious:

The rarest of all forms and probably the best piece available in the gathering. All the above mentioned types would be comfortable with a sagacious soul just smiling and doing small talk occasionally, that too about something meaningful or sensible. You will probably hear only sense coming out of that mouth. Now whether the sage is the humble type or probably waiting for the gathering to get over and abusing you in their heads! Keep on wondering!

The shutterbugs:

Unfortunately they suffer from OCD (Obsessive capturing disorder). You’ll see them with their mobile cameras or DSLRs taking selfies, clicking the food, and everything about the function. Sometimes it’s rather amusing to see someone caring about others but some other times it can get annoying when you are dragged for every second selfie or when ugly candid shots are captured.

Concluding it on a lighter note: whatever it is and whoever they are-life is meaningless without such a diversity.