‘State’s Stance’ - A daily column to project the state as bigger, stronger, healthier than it actually is

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Or what it means to write sheer nonsense and fall in love with every comma

2016-03-09T21:51:09+05:00 Shah Nawaz Mohal

To,

The Gov-Press Man

Ministry of Ground Realities

Islamabad-The Beautiful


Sir, I hereby propose a ‘Daily Column’ that will debunk all the nonsense written against our beloved government and offer a counter-narrative to columns, articles, stories, expose, reports that have been written against the government the day before.

Sir, ours is the age of Propaganda and Advertisement. And we (by this I mean I and Government and you) need to respond as soon as possible to all that damages our crystal clear, untainted repute.

Dear adult male, the so-called expose coverage or investigative reports in the papers are filled to the brim by facts and figures falsified to suit the columnists and reporters biased viewpoints and political affiliations. The tall claims, rooted in sheer speculation, made by columnists in varied newspapers the previous day need to be challenged, rationally and head-on.  They must know that we are better at it, at any day, any hour, any place, any

Beloved, the words matter, they matter a lot, they are the only thing that move a man to do or abstain from doing something, anything. Yes, words are mighty creatures and we must make sure that they be used the way they serve the greater good of all and us.

Honey, you know all day long, day in and day out, we see, hear, sense and live in a world where everyone has an opinion on everything, big or small, relevant or not. That should stop. That should stop with all the might We( again I, government and you) have

Jani Ji, about time that I ask you a rather rhetorical question.

Ready?

Q. Who facilitates us, who lubricates us to form these opinions?

Answer is: Media, dummy boy. The answer is MEDIA.

Yaar dekh, Media, be it social, print or electronic shapes our attitudes, our viewpoints, our worldview. From the buying of soap to voting for a particular political party, we perform these tasks, based on our attitudes and behavior shaped by how we consume media and what medium we consume it from.

Listen laddie, every passing day, fewer and fewer folks read papers. Even fewer amongst them read columns. It’s a very humble number. Getting humbler as we talk. But this lot weighs a lot. We have students, CSS aspirants, civil officers, armed services personnel, top-notch businessmen and other affluent persons reading their favorite columns, write-ups, op-eds and editorials.

Baby, you must realize that only our column will fill this void. We’ll offer a counterpoint, backed up by facts and figures and their interpretation (as we interpret it).

This is what we (I, government and you) need to do. State needs a strong presence on the op-ed pages in every prominent daily English Paper.

Cutie,  I,  can do it. Yes, I am qualified to do this as I am an M.B.B.S doctor, practicing as an advocate, I have also been executed in Iraq for crimes I didn’t committed. I closely follow and write on current affairs, politics, sociology, psychology, philanthropy,  evolution theory (philosophical one, not what infidel Darwin paddled) and letters to editors.

Attached to this letter are 97 dozen of my selfies and 2 write-ups that have so far been published in Roznama Mard-e-mujahid jag zara, aab waqt-e-shahadat hai aaya.

Yours mostly-cum-affectionately-cum- belovedly-cum-belatedly,

Salaar Sikander

Peer-e-kamil wala

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