“We live in a world where there is more and more information, and less and less meaning.”
― Jean Baudrillard, Simulacra and Simulation
The common man is in a curious dilemma nowadays. Whether it is about choosing the latest smartphone to the kind of school he wants to send his child to, it is becoming more and more about the ‘right’ kind of choice in the eyes of the ‘others’ than what he actually feels as the ‘right’ or ‘suitable’ choice.
While social norms are an important part of human life and society as we know it, there is something increasingly pressure-filled about the modern, urbane middle class values. And it is drastically different from the values of our grandparents, even our parents. So it is becoming harder and harder for the present day human to find its course.
Not that there is anything wrong with that at all. Norms change and counter-change all the time. What our grandparents and parents saw as change was different to their own ancestors and so on and so forth. But perhaps no other generation in the past two or three hundred years has accelerated in social change the way it has been shaped in the past two decades.
It had always been a case of where technology was trying to catch up with human needs and development – but of late, it has begun to appear as if human life is trying to catch up with the various developments in technology and rapidly evolving modes of communication.
The latest evidence of that is just around the corner: Valentine’s Day. A day that has absolutely no meaning when it comes to the history of cultures or even social interaction, but apparently it’s growing bigger and bigger every day.
A testament to the free market, the globalisation of the world or, as some religious zealots like to put it, a Jewish conspiracy to distract Muslims from their prayers? A longer treatise than a blog is a better way to address these questions.
What is interesting however and what makes me write this blog about Valentine’s Day is how commercial holidays are becoming the order of the day. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day and Valentine’s Day etc – all celebrate markets and commodities rather than emotions or relationships. As opposed to formal days celebrated by United Nations such as International Women’s Day or International Day for Children (with focus on poverty-stricken and education-deprived children all over the globe), these advertisement-oriented ‘days’ are nothing more than enterprises working on the masses’ gullibility to buy into ideas that need less teddy bears and more effort.
Do I sound cynical? Maybe I am. It just seems strange to see Valentine’s Day as a celebration of love when the word ‘love’ itself encompasses so much more than just teddy bears and pink hearts and flowers. To me, maybe incorrectly to the eyes of others who celebrate this with full fervour and zest, it is a reinforcement of the many incorrect images that change our perceptions of reality for the worse. It is an image-oriented world where young girls are taught that being skinny and having perfect pearly white skin gets you love and acceptance. A media-frenzied world where men are told that women are supposed to be dressed and primped to perfection when they come home from work and are supposed to be ready with tea and cookies to go with it. A world where young moms are feeling guilty just because advertisements show perfectly-makeupped moms having it all with their perfect banaspati ghee and each hair is in place as they serve steaming food to their families.
So forgive me if I don’t buy the whole Valentine’s Day message. My idea of love is where it takes years of pain and sacrifice (be it for parents or for spouses or even your kids) to understand what it takes to love someone. My idea of love cannot be measured or undermined by the number of red roses I give or receive. It is a long and powerful process that involves concepts such as respect and longevity and responsibility. Valentine’s Day says it is a day to express your love – but to me it is simply a day to pressurise those who haven’t found it yet into finding it; a day to spend on things that we probably wouldn’t on any other day; and a day to buy into yet another mindless gimmick that just gives ad-makers a new excuse/way out to sell us their merchandise.