Dear American people,

Congratulations on electing a new President. We, the citizens of the developing nations, can only look at you with envy as you vote for a person with no political experience, who is a racist, sexist, misogynist, xenophobic tax evader, a failed businessman and an alleged rapist, to become the President of your country. We usually let these people rig elections in our part of the world, but you are happily giving them the highest authority in your country. Wish we could do the same one day. I mean, we do it by illegal means, but you did it through a system that is like God mode activated and then some. There is one slight issue, though: you did rig the election by stacking it against Bernie. So at this point, all we can say is, “Alas, what could have been?”

Deep down, we are all the same you know. I mean we have Trump-lites in our country, and mini-Trumps inside us all. Well we tend to focus more on discrimination based on religion and sexuality than on color, but two out of three similarities isn’t too bad. We are also sexists, but at least we did elect a female Prime Minister twice. But she was killed, and so are other women in the name of honor, but the point is that we have a lot of similarities than what we would both dare to admit. This brings me to my next point.     

Since you have shown an inability to exercise your vote, I would like to ask you that we, the citizens of the rest of the world, should be allowed to vote in your elections. I mean, we have an equal right to have our say on which person bombs us or pays us to do their bidding. That's the least you can do for us. I mean, look at what you did to Afghanistan, Iraq, the drone strikes in Pakistan, and the current situation in Syria and Libya. We deserve some partial representation in this decision-making process – it will really strengthen our bonds.

Also, this would be the right time to ask the British monarchy to take you guys back, we think the experiment has come to an end. I mean, you had a good 240-or-so-year run and as they say all the good things in life must come to an end. I know you are the land of the free, the brave, and liberty, and so on, but in the light of recent events the question arises: are you still all that? 

I will leave you with the message that a majority of your population saw before they entered the Promised Land:
“Give me your tired, your poor, 
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, 
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. 
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed, to me: 
I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”
― Emma Lazarus

Sincerely yours,
Citizen of a developing country