I am not sure if I can readily extend my heartfelt greetings on your declaration of becoming the new ‘Muslim Caliph.’ It seems as though you have outdone the TTP boys, who have been trying to bring Islam and a Muslim Caliph, in our own backyard for a long time. You might have also shattered the dreams of our beloved ‘Raiwind’ PM, who always had this title close to his heart! Even before you could finish your first sermon, the enemies of Islam were raising their fingers, pointing at the £3,500 Omega Seamaster that decorated your right wrist. It is their short sightedness as they have failed to see the truth. The new ‘Muslim Caliph’ is an ardent supporter of capitalism, branded products and corporate cults.

One can hardly object to a watch, but I would like to know how did you end up becoming a Caliph? I mean were you selected, elected, nominated, arrived through an adult franchise or brought in through a back door? Was ‘bait’ taken on your hand while you sat in a tent or lived in a condo? Everyone would like to know what your sources of income are and do you pay taxes? If you are living on donations now, did you pay taxes in the pre-caliphate era? It would also be good to know about your educational background, the number of marriages solemnized, the names of your funding agencies and the sources of your weapons?

By the way where were you when your country was being destroyed by US forces? Or are the Muslims Caliphates specific to the killing and murdering of just their own? Can you please begin by doing a few humane things such as dismantling your barbaric militia of ‘ISIS’, stop all killings, put an end to the sectarian strife and stopthe demolition of shrines and holy places?


USA, July 8.