It took the Pakistani society less than 10 months to go from “Reham Khan is a gorgeous lady and is fit for Khan” to “She was never the right choice. Khan has been crying. There must be something wrong with her character. Remember? Her ex-husband also claimed that she was not a good wife.”
It is absolutely ironic to see how our society reacts to divorce. The same society that claims to give women the utmost respect, does not wait two mere seconds before blaming the woman for divorce. She is spoken of in derogatory terms and is considered a coward for giving up on such a divine relationship and for not putting up with the traditions that every other woman supposedly goes through. The people of our society make sure that every second after her divorce is not easy for her. She becomes a public property for everyone to comment on and is considered a burden by her own family.
What is even more astonishing is how the man gets a clean slate and is not blamed for anything. He can start over. He can marry whenever he wants and is not considered a bad omen by the society.
We have watched talk shows discussing how Reham was an absolute failure as a wife and she even went to the extent of trying to poison Khan. Our audiences have faithfully digested these facts and empathize with the man whose wife turned out to be a bad woman. Everybody is ready to overlook all those times that she stood up for her husband or was there by his side.
No one is interested in her side of the story and that again reinforces the trend that goes on in the society at lower levels.
What’s worse is that women also look down upon other women for trying to opt out of a relationship that is not working out. They are absolutely okay with giving themselves the title of a strong woman who has made it through and suffered but cannot see a women standing up for herself and putting an end to her suffering. As a result, it becomes so difficult for a divorced woman to function as a healthy individual of the society.
Why has divorce become such a taboo within our society? It is a very healthy option for couples who just cannot get along. It is very human to not get along with someone. Nowhere is it stated that it is absolutely compulsory to stay within a non-functional marriage. No one should be forced to spend their lives with someone they cannot connect with.
Our society needs to understand that not every relationship works out. And it is not necessary that it is because either of the two persons involved is bad. It might be because they are not right for each other. Maybe their idea of a life partner is different than who they have. It can be because of multiple reasons and there might just not be anyone to blame. Let’s try to make the lives of our fellow beings easier by accepting that it is okay to end a non-functional marriage. Let’s not make it about anyone’s character and let’s give couples the space to decide whether or not they want to spend their entire lives together.