There is a courtroom drama that will unfold on Monday – perhaps this is how it will proceed:

Alice: I did not treat anyone.

Judge: Says who?

Cheshire cat: Alice has a hospital and she treats them all the time.

Alice: I mean I did not treat any terrorists.

Judge: What do you mean by terrorists?

Cheshire cat: The people she treats, and the people that send the people she treats.

Alice: but…

Judge: Alice, what do you have to say for yourself?

Cheshire cat: Nothing melord, here are the receipts she issued to the terrorists/

Alice: But… the ones I issued were different!

Judge: Were they, show me.

Cheshire cat: Melord, she lies

Alice: Melord, here are the originals.

Judge: Blimey!

Cheshire cat: Melord, here’s the international human rights report saying right here she lies.

Judge: Who are these people?

Alice: They don’t exist, melord.

Cheshire cat: You don’t exist.

Judge: Hmm… I called them up… they say they don’t belong to this human rights organization.

Cheshire cat: ….

Alice: Melord…. the software in my hospital does not have a field for ‘care of’.

Judge: Hmm

Cheshire cat: Alice, you wanted to go somewhere?

Alice: Anywhere, I don’t much care where.

Cheshire cat: Then it doesn’t matter where you go.

Alice: As long as I get SOMEWHERE.

Cheshire cat: Oh you’re sure to do that if you only walk long enough … to PSP.

Judge: ?

Alice: What sort of people live about there?

Cheshire cat: In THAT direction lives the APML, (waving its right paw), and in THAT direction (waving the left) lives the PSP. Join either you like, they’re both mad.

Judge: wait a minute

Alice: But I don’t want to go among mad people

Cheshire cat: Oh you can’t help that here. We’re all mad; I’m mad, you’re mad

Judge: Holy cat, sorry, cow, am I mad too?

Cheshire cat: Moooooooo.

Judge: Sorry.

Alice: How do you know I’m mad?

Cheshire cat: You must be, or you wouldn’t have come here.

Judge: Aye, aye.

Alice: How do you know you’re mad?

Cheshire cat: I growl when I’m happy, and wag my tail when I’m angry, therefore I’m mad. Did you play croquet with General Raheel Sharif today?

Alice: I should like it very much but I haven’t been invited yet.

Alice: By-the-by what became of Imran Khan?

Cheshire cat: It turned into a porpoise or maybe a pig (and vanished again)

Judge: I thought it would …

Alice waited a little, half expecting to see the cat again, but it did not appear, and after a minute or two she walked on in the direction in which the PSP was said to live. `I’ve seen hatters before,’ she said to herself; `the APML will be much the most interesting, and perhaps as this is May it won’t be raving mad–at least not so mad as it was in March.’ As she said this, she looked up, and there was the Cheshire cat again, sitting on a branch of a tree.

Judge: Did you say a pig or a fig?

Alice: He said pig. And I wish he wouldn’t keep appearing and disappearing so suddenly. He makes one quite giddy.

Cheshire cat: All right, I won’t, if it pleases you m’lady

And this time it vanished quite slowly, beginning with the end of the tail, and ending with the grin, which remained some time after the rest of it had gone.

End: Well! I’ve often seen a cat without a grin,’ thought Alice; `but a grin without a cat! It’s the most curious thing I ever saw in my life!’

Same here.