I recently had a chance to represent Pakistan in a global exchange platform in South East Asia. I was privileged enough to meet people from every corner of the world.
I made a shocking discovery that the taboo of marrying an older woman only exists in Pakistan. In African countries, if husband of a woman dies or divorces her due to some reason – the brothers of the husband readily marry her to prevent her from any sort of public humiliation. Same is the case with Arab nations where the fact that the woman is older than the male does not matter.
According to 1998 census report, there are 111 males against 115 females in Pakistan. This is 2017 now, and the gender proportionate ratio has risen to a much higher extent. This taboo of a generic man not marrying a woman older than him, due to trivial reasons like she will look old enough to be his mom is creating a state of relation imbalance in our country.
In our male dominated society – a male can remarry and no-one bats an eye around but if a widow or an unmarried elderly lady wants to marry – most people will make rude comments simply due to prejudice and ignorance. She’s a daughter of someone and she deserves respect. She too, has some dreams – some ambitions she wants to achieve. From time to time – she too, sees the dream of having a happy family with someone.
If we claim ourselves to be “Muslims” – we are overlooking the fact that Prophet Muhammad (SAW) himself was married to a 40 year old lady named Khadija who had been married two times before.
Considering the present case scenario – when marriage gets difficult – prostitution and other evils rise to gratify the carnal appetite of mankind and the whole concept of a sound society tarnishes.
Relationship is all about understanding and bringing out the best in another person. In my humble opinion, cultural stereotypes should be broken and such marriages should be appreciated.