We are living in times where our age group decides what we are supposed to be at the given point in time. It is considered to be of utmost importance to get married at the ‘right’ time. Now the question arises, who decides the ‘right’ time? In most cases, but obviously, it is the society, specifically our relatives and close acquaintances who enlighten us on the topic. At every gathering, if you’ve reached the ‘suitable’ age as they say, you’d be pinched, bugged, nudged and tormented with questions, suggestions and advices on taking the ‘plunge’. Your will, your opinion or even your sexual orientation is of no concern in this matter. Sexual orientation - well virtually everyone in the eyes of our society and culture has to be ‘straight’, you cannot go the other way. Absolutely not! And why so? Well because it happens to be a taboo, and a reprehensible influence on the young generation. You can be subjected to immense criticism, so you can’t, just can’t let that cat out of the bag. No, as unapologetic as I believe one should be about their sexual preference, for the sake of our society’s fragile norms and deep embed values we cannot absolutely talk about this!
If you choose to follow a certain path, which requires your potential and most importantly a larger chunk of your life, one might not have enough time on their hands to give marriage a thought. Or you might not want to take the vows because a closed one suffered a bad marriage, you feel you aren’t completely ready or you just do not want to tread that path yet. It should be one’s personal matter, rather than everyone else’s. Being concerned about a daughter, sister, friend or simply a girl is an idea of benevolence; however, there is a pretty fine line between being noisy and caring. And in the matters of marriage, most of us overstep it in a jiffy. I happened to visit a hospital with a closed one, and while getting her registration done, we were asked about her age – and just when she said 32, the personnel on the other end asked her husband’s name. This took me to thinking that generally it is viewed as a given, an obvious fact, an axiom that a woman at 32 is ought to be married. But, then there are so many of these beautiful women who choose to burst the bubble of ‘a timely marriage’.
One should not settle because of peer pressure, because you are bidding a good bye to your 20s, or because you might not settle with a good suitor later in life. You should get married because you want to, and it should be out of your own reasons. Wedlock, is a beautiful and holy union between two, it is a journey of life which should be embarked on with your own will and reasons. It is an institution like a curve on the graph, sometimes ever surging and at times hitting the rock bottom. In societies like ours, it is tantamount to respect and love, because we believe it to be a bond of a lifetime. And rightly so, you definitely do not want to mess up with this one, or go hasty with it.
Every human realizes the need of companionship gradually, as time unfolds, or it is our family who cracks the deal for us. I have heard of quite a number of marriages, where people several years down the lane or initially did not feel the connection. They walked down the aisle, because age, family, relatives or peers directed them to. Such unions wreak havoc in several lives, or become a stale burden of responsibilities because ‘you got to do what you got to do’. A marriage specifically does not need to ‘happen’ because it is meant to be. And there is no rule, obligation or norm which states that anyone above the age bracket of 27 or so is ought to be married.
Women living in this era are independent; they enjoy the freedom of choice more than in any other period. A conjugal bond is a union of two souls, as believed by every religion; it shouldn’t become a shackle in any-which-way. Your relationship status doesn’t define you, it embellishes your existence. Never let anyone criticize you, or assassinate your character because you chose to spend your life sans a partner. You are God’s most beautiful and strongest creation, who has been granted the privilege of bringing a life into this world; don’t let anyone take that away from you!
People will talk, because that’s what we are best at, but it should in no way influence your idiosyncrasies. Don’t get drifted away and fall into their web of coax. As we are aware, once you exchange those vows, there will be questions on your family planning and once that happens, it’s all about ‘when will he/she be put in a school’, which university, then which profession and last but not the least when is the wedding? It is a complicated cycle, which goes round and round. Your getting hitched won’t satiate the curious souls just-so-easily!
There will be times when you’ll get affected with the nitpicking, suggestions, remarks and comments, but remember no one has the right over you and you are no puppet in hands of people. You are also necessarily not ‘available’, if it doesn’t please you to get into a relationship.
Marriage or no marriage you are free to be you! Rock on and conquer it all!
