I don’t watch TV.Too predictable and not in my control. I don't like being fed entertainment and/or knowledge. I especially don't watch Pakistani TV. Too sensational, misogynist, misleading and I wonder if it helps anyone with their intellect, if not adversely.

Weeks into the Peshawar massacre, I know what to expect; talk shows inviting Taliban apologists, apathetic analyses based on political affiliation, intense discussions on the religion of the terrorists. Hollow entertainment. Anything to keep us from feeling the guilt and utter helplessness of the situation.I expect this because I have gauged my nation’s shamelessness over the years and it has proven to be directly proportional to the gravity of the disaster it has just faced.

So it wasn’t surprising to see the nation celebrating Imran Khan’s wedding three weeks after the massacre. Oh, the jubilation and obsession of the media and public. You would think we had hung all those that pushed bullets into our kids’bodies and had eradicated terrorism and its apologia in the preceding three weeks. You would think a new era had dawned in Pakistan, marked by marital nuptials of a great, sacrificial leader who had seen us through our harrowing times.

“Which designer did Reham Khan wear?”I don’t know maybe green sweaters from the local uniform shop.

“Oh, Imran was wearing his regular kheriyan, despite it being his wedding day," maybe he lost his other shoes running away from armed terrorists in his classroom. Maybe?

Terrorist attack in Rawalpindi? Oh they’re just some bloody Shias, come sit here watch this interview of the newly-wed couple.

I used to get angry at Khan and his frivolities in the face of such grave conditions and the state of war the country is in. I realised my anger was misplaced. When you think of it, the man made a life out of entertainment, out of open attacks on the field, you cannot expect him to be good at politics. But his narcissism, incessant need to stay in media spotlight and outright attack anyone not himself or his posse is completely understandable. The people’s blind love for him is also understandable. Our nation is deprived of substantial pride and hope; and he captained the team that bagged us a World Cup win two decades ago. His acts of manipulating this adoration and popularity are also understandable; everyone wants power, and when you aren’t someone worthy of it, you lie and cheat.

What isn’t understandable is most of our nation’s complete lack of anger towards him. Their unceasing worship and intolerance of any criticism of the man. (This does not apply to the APS parents and others who protested against him).

Now, I consider those who call themselves “leaders”to be public employees; hence they work for the public, their attitude, direction and policy is influenced by the public. A leader is a horse and the public has the reins. A leader can halt and remind or guide the public if they’re in the wrong, but they cannot possibly do something the public, in unison, will dislike. If they do, they risk being replaced and left behind. Our leaders, however, are immune to this.

They do as they please.They have public weddings following massacres in the provinces they were responsible for. And they are revered for this. Their joy is the public’s joy; their apathy, the nation’s apathy.

The problem here isn’t the marriage, whether it happened in November, when the capital was held hostage and people were willing to lay down their lives for “inquilaab”or in January, 3 weeks after the Peshawar massacre. The problem is the photoshoot that followed, the interview, the public array of jubilation, the media hype, the indifferent celebration. It could have been done in the privacy of his house like many civilians but no, the public needed its Khanertainment. Imran Khan has succeeded in diverting attention from terrorist activity from day 1 because the public has let him. 

The problem is our nation’s utter lack of responsibility to themselves.

Imagine if there had been outrage at this KPK elective’s lack of concern. Imagine if the public he is employed by, from whom his power stems had outright refused to celebrate his personal life and had urged him to settle his priorities and help with taking terrorism head on. We might have seen a large faction of the nation in unison with the ruling party with a uniting cause: the eradication of terrorism.

We might have seen progress.We might have been united for a while. But instead, as terrorists attacked an imambarghah in Pindi, we stood divided.Some tuned into the newly-weds’interview; some outraged over the apathy; some outraged over their murdered brethren.

The problem is we are a shameless nation. We blessed MumtazQadri with garlands; we attacked Taseer’svigil; we protested in favour of the Paris terrorists. We let them entertain us with container politics while Zarb-e-azab was in swing, instead of taking responsibility and working towards betterment, we looked for foreign hands in national tragedies. We called grieving, protesting parents “planted”, we let kids die and did not demand answers. We did not demand change.

We do not have enough shame to correct wrongs, to face issues and fight them head on.We, after the murder of 142 kids, have still not been shamed into correcting ourselves.We still bicker with each other over men who have failed to lead.We still refuse to acknowledge the cancer within us all.We still refuse to be ashamed.

Zaitoon Malik is a student, who's a feminist observing and providing critique on culture and politics. She has a keen interest in history. Follow her on Twitter