The young man looked perplexed. So did I when he asked me a couple of questions I never reflected on during my 35 years in the Foreign Office. To protect his career, I shall not reveal his name. However, this bright fellow has started his career in the Ministry of Foreign Affairs after clearing the Central Superior Services (CSS) exam recently. This was his second visit to me. A few years back, he came to me to understand the dynamics of the CSS exam as well as the foreign policy of Pakistan. He did well in the exam and got his first choice. The two-hour session saw us trying to find answers to a few intriguing questions.
Officer: Looking at the Gaza situation, the UN’s helplessness speaks volumes about the organization’s ineffectiveness. Add into it the Ukraine war and you have a recipe of utter dismay. Millions of dollars are being spent on the UN staff to produce impractical documents. I don’t think the world needs the UN anymore. In addition, the kind of convoluted language they use - it makes me sick.
Me: What do you mean by convoluted language? They are the experts in the field.
Officer: After noting, welcoming, recalling, reaffirming, highlighting, commending, stressing the need for, and echoing God knows what, they call upon both sides to continue to engage. What does it mean in reality? Subsequently, they would urge for the implementation of some document and request the Secretary-General to submit a report thereon before deciding to remain seized of the matter. Meanwhile, a whole population is being annihilated by the aggressor.
Me: That is the diction of any multilateral forum. Every word must be incorporated carefully and to the satisfaction of all present.
Officer. Exactly. The idea is not to address the issue. The objective is to keep the organization’s relevance intact while following the dictates of the powerful. Providing justice would never be the aim. Then they use a whole page to say ‘maybe’ whereas the situation would demand a clear-cut yes or no.
Me: Taking note of something also means a kind of development. In the drafting committee, one must possess extraordinary proficiency in knowledge as well as technical skills.
Officer: If this is the result of ‘extraordinary proficiency’ and ‘technical skills’, I must say it needs a lot of courage and effort to move in circles.
Me: You are visibly disturbed. Tell me about the Foreign Office and your experience in one of the finest institutions of Pakistan.
Officer: I have come to know that our Ministry has a negligible role in the process of formulating foreign policy. Even the consular section is not being managed properly. Hence, the officers are busy in securing desirable PERs and postings of their choice. No one is interested in safeguarding the legitimate concerns of the officers and the staff let alone promoting the national interest. The morale is at a low ebb. Those who have better options are leaving the Ministry. Those who are stuck, like me, have been left to sulk.
Me: In our days, being a diplomat was a matter of pride. Our Foreign Secretaries used to defend us. I remember ……
Officer: Sorry to interrupt you, Sir. Could you kindly tell me the criteria for becoming the Foreign Secretary?
Me: The best of the best, I suppose. I mean, whosoever is considered fit for the post by the government of the day, no?
Officer: No, Sir. The would-be Foreign Secretary must either be very well-connected or should possess the eternal propensity to accept all instructions without asking any questions. As I would never be able to meet the criteria, I know I don’t stand even a chance to head the Institution.
Me: Don’t be disheartened, young man. You have just joined the Service. Give yourself some time. Meanwhile, I think, you should choose one of the specific areas on the political side and try to become an area specialist.
Officer: Area specialist? This is another illusionary paradigm. You become a UN expert after serving once in New York or Geneva. Serving in the Ministry at the relevant desk also makes you an area expert. Surprisingly, serving in other places don’t make you an expert or maybe you don’t want to be an area specialist in countries of Central Asia, South America, and Africa. You can easily be called a Mid-East specialist if you know Arabic or have served anywhere in the region. Being an expert or an area specialist is a self-created bubble, Sir. The irony is that others also start believing it. Secondly, to be noticed, you must be a logophile ….!!
Me: Logophile?
Officer: Yes, Sir. Logophile. Your drafting must include a few not-so-commonly-used words like cognoscente, connoisseur, or crackerjack to look authentic. Instead of saying artful, you should use adjectives like adroit and bravura. Include expressions like quintessential, circumlocution, ephemeral, serendipity, and modus vivendi to make your draft ‘effective’. A ‘competent’ officer refrains from using ordinary words. For sweet, he will say dolce. Secretly or hidden? No, surreptitiously. So much so that a minute-taker would not like to use the word ‘meeting’. Saying ‘conclave’ instead makes his draft look royal. The interesting part? No one questions that a conclave is a specific assembly of cardinals for the election of a pope. It cannot be an ordinary meeting.
Me: Being mindful of the related issues is the first step towards awareness. I think you already have enough know-how about the workings of the Ministry. You will be fine.
Officer: How could you deduce that, Sir? I think I am a complete misfit.
Me: The system teaches you certain things quietly. You don’t recognize the change. Didn’t you use the word ‘logophile’? You could have easily said – a person who loves words….!! Trust me. You will be fine.
Najm us Saqib
The writer is a former Ambassador of Pakistan and author of eight books in three languages. He can be reached at najmussaqib1960@msn.com