Tuesday, December 16 (7pm): On Monday, we made Lahore look like the Internet – all the good places were blocked. This scribe is proud to have participated in the peaceful protest in which only two or three people died, and having made my share of sacrifices for a new Pakistan.
Monday, December 15 (8am): It is especially cold this morning. There were no heating arrangements at any of the protest venues. We saw some tyres hanging outside a bicycle repair shop and decided to burn them for heating. There were undue delays caused by the shopkeeper. A volunteer with a cricket bat took care of the problem. An uncle told us that old wood burns better. So we also set fire to a 100-year-old tree on The Mall. Now it is cosy.
Monday, December 16 (10am): A man on a motorcycle came to us and asked if we would let him pass. We refused politely. He became angry and began a tirade. The gist of his argument was that the road belonged to the public and not to Imran Khan, whom he referred to as our father with the intention to ridicule us. We did not lose patience. Two of us held him by his arms and asked him to come and resolve the matter in our nearby office, where there was an empty bench. We courteously told him to lay down on it and removed his shirt. He said he did not remember being scheduled for an ultrasound, again with an intention to ridicule. We thrashed him with bats until he apologized. After this, the crowd dispersed peacefully.
Monday, December 16 (11am): The Lahore Metro Bus Project is a notable example of a series of infrastructure development schemes that reflect the government's misplaced priorities. Billions of rupees of taxpayer money have been wasted on these buses, two of which we broke the windows of in order to being attention to this serious matter. While we were at it, a reporter was busy in biased coverage of the event. That is also a serious matter. Therefore, we decided to bring attention to that matter too, by throwing the remaining stones at him. After that, the crowd dispersed peacefully and went back to registering its protest in accordance with the rules and regulations.
Monday, December 16 (2pm): The purpose of our protest is to bring Lahore to a standstill by strategically blocking locations in the city with the highest number of people coming in and out of. Prominent among those locations was the public toilet at AzadiChowk. Perhaps because he was harassed by the government, the toilet contractor did not shut down his business despite our repeated requests. Key among his excuses was that there was a man inside. One of our volunteers complained that an unidentified toilet-goer writes filthy slogans against our leader Imran Khan on the walls of the toilets. We dragged the man out to verify the allegation. Some of us got emotional and gave him a light thrashing. However, the man had to hold his shalwar in his hand during this episode because one end of its string had disappeared inside the seam. The contractor agreed to shut the toilet down. Thereafter, the crowd dispersed peacefully.
Monday, December 16 (4pm): TV channels are reporting that several ambulances got stuck in our protest and three people died. But what about the people who die when ambulances are stopped for VIP movement? Speaking of VIP movement, Imran Khan is about to arrive at the Charing Cross so we had to clear the way by closing two bakeries and a fuel station. Employees of the latter ran away voluntarily when they saw us approaching. One bakery owner's shirt was ripped off, after which he also agreed to shut his shop down of his own free will and go home. The other bakery was shut down after some volunteers began to eat from the shelves and it became hard to keep track of the sales. The crowd then dispersed peacefully and in accordance with law.
Monday, December 16 (9pm): Earlier, a comrade texted us with selfies taken while throwing water bottles at a woman reporter from a rival TV channel. Since we had not arrived at the scene yet, we decided to throw a bottle at a woman who looked like she belonged to the Butt cast and was therefore likely a government supporter. When we threw a bottle at her, she caught the bottle. Then she ran towards this scribe uttering extremely indecent words and phrases directed towards this scribe's parents. She also picked up a brick and threw it at this scribe.
This scribe woke up in hospital where he might have to stay for some days. Unfortunately, he also missed Imran Khan's speech.
The author has a degree in Poetics of Prophetic Discourse and works as a Senior Paradigm Officer. He can be contacted at harris@nyu.edu. Follow him on Twitter