A new smart-phone app launched by Pakistan Tehrik-e-Insaf (PTI) will revolutionize the way in which grassroots political activists from all over the country invite military intervention to topple the government and make Imran Khan the prime minister.

Thousands of people have already downloaded Candy – a robust feature-rich app that connects users from Pakistan's newly politically active middle class with other naïve men and women based on the inappropriate use of the word revolution in their text-based communication.

Among the most outstanding features of the application is RehashR, a smart new algorithm that uses parts of Imran Khan's first three speeches at the protest in Islamabad to generate a new speech every night. “It is very impressive how it can podcast the same allegations against the government, the same anecdotes from the former playboy's experiences of religious and social awakening, and the same predictions about the government's ouster every night, over and over again,” one user remarked.

TimeR, another notable feature of the app, generates a new deadline for the prime minister to resign every few days, and a new date for the revolution to succeed. “It comes loaded with an algorithm that automatically deletes previous deadlines and predictions, so that you have one convenient deadline to look up to, until it is deleted and replaced with a new deadline,” explained an engineer who is part of the team that developed the application.

The Candy app also connects to your smart phone's camera to offer an enhanced digital zoom. “This feature is intended for young freelance journalists and bloggers, who will now be able to look at the dwindling crowds at the sit-in from more than a hundred meters, and take pictures that make the venue look crowded,” an IT expert divulged to this scribe.

Followers of Imran Khan will also have access to their leader's current location, with the help of a GPS tracker attached to his live-in container at the venue of the protest, which Mr Khan had promised he will not leave until Prime Minister Sharif resigned. A software engineer who was part of the development team admitted the arrangement had some weaknesses, such as it shows Mr Khan to be present in the container to which the apparatus is attached, even when he leaves to go to his mansion in Bani Gala. “We weren't expecting that to happen and did not have a plan in place for such a situation,” he elaborated.

Although party leaders admit that the venue is empty for most of the day, they believe the app makes physical presence irrelevant with its innovative feature PreachR. “Aimed at engaging users who do not agree with the PTI, the feature shows which shows computer-generated videos of angry young men using filthy language and fashionable aunties making articulate speeches that are ignorant, offensive and condescending at the same time,” an enthusiastic member of the media cell told reporters.

FakeR, a news-related feature, is expected to significantly widen the on-going political debate in the Pakistani public sphere. “Since all political parties agree that media reports are biased,” a back-end engineer revealed on condition of anonymity, “we have enriched the app with the ability to create news, such as publishing photographs of violence from the Egyptian revolution as having taken place in Islamabad.” He ensured that reports about the large-scale loss of life, property and crops by the recent floods in the country would be muted. In a shocking revelation, he disclosed that India had created the flood in order to divert media attention from his party's protest in Islamabad.

Paid users of the app were given access to a special feature titled TheatR, which allows them to send and receive secret encoded messages from Rawalpindi. The utility of the feature has been questioned however, after some leaders of the PTI complained that it failed to work on several occasions. “There are complaints that the application hangs upon the mention of Sheikh Rashid,” an inside source told this scribe.

Amongst the most popular features of the Candy app is SingR, which allows users to listen to the pro-revolution songs being played at the protest in Islamabad. “This was the easiest feature to program,” the engineer who worked on the app opined. “Because there are only three songs that are being played over and over again.”

As the radical new application gains popularity and fundamentally changes the nature of politics in Pakistan, the million dollar question is: will the developers give in to popular demand and include in the next version, the videos from last month of Salman Ahmed lip-syncing to Ali Azmat's voice?

The author has a degree in Poetics of Prophetic Discourse and works as a Senior Paradigm Office