Anger, I am lead to believe, is a negative emotion, and if this is true then I must be negative to the point of extinction right now, as I am spitting anger out of each and every single bodily pore Having been 'forced to enter the world of computers all of seven years ago and I do mean 'forced, as I was hanging on to my vintage typewriter like glue, stubbornly refusing to even acknowledge that a whole new world had been born whilst I chose not to look until, that is, a well meaning, extremely kind friend arrived on my doorstep bearing the gift of an ex-office computer which was headed for the scrapheap unless I took it in. Actually, I wasnt allowed to refuse and the 'thing sat, hidden underneath a decorative chador, on top of a spare desk for the next two years before I even plucked up enough courage to say: Hello. Now what are you all about? and begin learning how to use it. It wasnt very long at all, perhaps only an hour or two, before I realised that computer life, unless closely monitored, could become addictive to the point of no return unless and until something happened, like loadshedding, a dead phone line or, horror of horrors, its operational capacity was hijacked by an intrusion from outer space in the form of nasty and even nastier viruses which, having been on the receiving end of a Trojan attack once, I do the best I can to keep the barricades firmly in place by installing original, licensed anti-virus software purchased from a 'reputable dealer. This software, unfortunately from my point of view, has a life of exactly one year and the very second it reaches its expiry date that, my friends, is that as it promptly ceases to operate. Having a replacement on hand is an eminently sensible thing to do and, as the anti-virus in my desktop computer had just six short days to run before kicking the bucket I made a special trip down to Islamabad two days ago to purchase the latest edition from the 'reputable computer store I have used since entering the world of high technology. Trips down to Islamabad from the Murree Hills have to be planned in advance for a number of reasons: As it takes a good two hours each way from my relatively remote abode, it is preferable that both 'to and from are completed in daylight, in clear weather, so as to minimise the risk of delays due to things like snow, hailstorms, mist, landslides, road works and, in the tourist season, traffic jams. Leaving at 8:00 am is out of the question, as the local bank does not open until 9:00 am and rarely has any cash before 9:30 am or even 10:00 am. Therefore, unless I make a special trip to the bank, this is quite a few kilometres away, in advance, it does not make sense to set out before 9:00 am which, in turn and having stopped for cash on the way, means arriving in Islamabad at 11:30 am or so to race around, do whatever has to be done, head back to the hills no later than 3:30 pm, reach home by 5:30 to 6:00 pm by which time the hungry dogs are in a frenzy, the fire needs cleaning out and setting, shopping must be put away, supper must be prepared and all is definitely not well with the world Trip planning also has to be organised, not having my own transport and living far from the main road and any apology for a bus that might or might not happen along, around the availability of a reliable cab with a sane driver for which I have to pay an exorbitant amount and which must be booked at least a day in advance. Expeditions out into the world are exhausting affairs, more so during pollen allergy season, like now, as a few hours in Islamabad inevitably results in at least four days of sinus headaches and itchy rashes and people have the audacity to ask me why I dont go down more often To cut a long, very long story with a puncture and blown radiator thrown in for extra misery, short, I went and bought a new anti-virus, returned with pollen inflamed eyes and just this evening, it would have been morning but the power went off at 9:30 am and did not come back until 3:30 pm, I began installing the new programme only to discover that the dam thing has a fake license key and so is totally and utterly dud The only way to solve the issue is bring the computer and disc here tomorrow morning at 9 am, the technician insisted when I phoned to complain. I will then install the disc for you, he added in a tone of voice which clearly implied he was speaking to an imbecile. Explaining, for the umpteenth time and by now through clenched teeth, that there is nothing wrong with the computer and that the licence key does not work got me exactly nowhere. And the suggestion that, as I am an old customer, who has spent a fortune on computer and camera equipment in that store, he courier me a replacement and I return this disc in the same way, brought no joy either and I am exceedingly angry indeed. The criminal thing about it all is that if I was to name the store in this column, I could be taken to the court and sued for defamation of character. Yet, if I tried to sue them for selling fake goods, the case would not get off the ground n The writer is a Murree-based freelance columnist.