I never realized life can become so empty without certain voices which have brought much needed humor to our lives. One such voice belongs to our very much loved entertainer Mr. Altaf Hussain. The investigation by Scotland Yard Police seems to have very adversely affected the regular transmission of live performances by this great legend. The endless non-stop laughter is ensured the moment he appears on the screen; making us wonder if Omar Sharif got his wit and training from Altaf Bhai.

Glory never lasts forever. It seems that Altaf Bhai has now got a very serious competition with Bilawal Bhutto Zardari who is nowadays making everyone roll with laughter the moment he starts speaking. His voice has an added quality of deception if we close our eyes during the address; it is difficult to figure out if a man is speaking or a woman. His shrieking womanish voice makes one wonder what really went wrong during the process of his manufacturing. To add to it, his daily tweets are a treat to read. Every morning after waking up, he spends a good number of hours thinking what to tweet. After long consultations with his Gardner, Servants, house-keepers and Janitors he comes up with classic outbursts of insanity.

The biggest tragedy which can happen to any human being is the trauma of loss of identity. When one is born, the first thing which distinguishes him/her from the others is the name given by the parents. In almost every corner of the earth, one’s lineage is drawn from one’s father’s side. Bilawal was unfortunate on that count for his name was supposed to be “Bilawal Zardari” but to harvest political benefit; it was changed to “Bilawal Bhutto Zardari”. It seems that this loss of true identity has taken its toll on the poor Bilawal. All his life he will live under the trauma of being “neither here nor there” syndrome.

Having lived abroad for most of the time, Baby Bilawal seems to have lost touch with reality. Although he studied history at Christ Church, a constituent college of Oxford University plus being the member of Oxford Union debating Society; both did not help him much in understanding the basic fact that one can cash on the deaths of one’s ancestors for just a short period of time. Cosmetic slogans have a very short shelf life. In the end, one is judged by people based on ones performance and capabilities. He lacks both.

While addressing a rally on the sixth death anniversary of his mother and former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto called Imran Khan as “Buzdil Khan”. In one of his recent tweets, he also labeled General Pervaiz Musharaf as a Coward. Brave Bilawal seems to be forgetting a platoon of security guys surrounding him all the time. During the public gatherings, the stage is set miles away from the public fearing death. Erected concrete structures around Bilawal house are an ample proof of the bravery of this fearless son of the soil. It feels so hollow when he repeatedly talks about achieving “Shahadat” and subsequent burial at the ancestral graveyard in Gharhi Khuda Baksh. For achieving true Shahadat, one has to get out from the rat hole once in a while.

Respect for elders is not his ball game. Hitting on Nawaz Sharif, he said that the late military dictator Gen Zia-ul-Haq fed his ‘lion’ on milk and now it was feeding on the blood of the hapless and helpless people of Pakistan. Any thought on sucking poor people’s blood by the PPP regime for fiveconsecutive years with ferocious insensitivity?

Coming back to his strong talent as an entertainer, it took a while for the people to decipher his words when he said that “Election 2018 mei Sadar Zardari aapka kamaan ho gy aur mei apne jiyaalon ka teer. Hum ikathay ho ker KPK ke awam ko bachain gey jo is waqt soonamai ke soolaab mei doob rahe hain”. Bow and the Arrow are fine but the target/victim will again be the poor masses.

In the end, looking him, reminds me of a BBC situation Comedy titled “Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em”, written by Raymond Allen, starring Michael Crawford. In one of the episodes, Webster (played by British actor Bernard Hepton) asks Frank Spencer (Michael Crawford) “Don’t you even know where you were born? Your mother must have told you”. Frank Spencer replies “She might have mentioned it in passing - we talked of so many things”.

British novelist, journalist and critic Arthur Koestler once said “If one looks with a cold eye at the mess man has made of history, it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that he has been afflicted by some built-in mental disorder which drives him towards self-destruction”. Bilawal fits Arthur Koestler’s description with poetic precision.  

The writer is a PhD in Information Technology, alumni of King’s College London and a social activist. He has authored two books titled Understanding Telecommunications and Living in the Grave and several research papers.The writer prefers to avoid human interaction and finds peace & happiness being alone, in silence with his own self.