Parenting in Islam

Child guidance is something parents are expected to do and not submit to. For expecting children to be good followers, parents have to prove by deed and words that they are good leaders. If parents want honest children they should be honest themselves. The sage Luqman has a surah named after him in the Holy Quran. He is recognised as being a wise man, it is therefore not surprising that verse 13 in surah Luqman states, 'Behold, Luqman said to his son by way of instruction, 'O my son join not in worship, others with God: for false worship is indeed the highest wrong doing. It follows that the primary duty of a parent is to invite their off-spring to the sole worship of the One and Only, Allah Subhanahu Taala. This invitation to the concept of Unity of God, is the first lesson that needs to be imbibed in the hearts of children. The surrender to this concept becomes the edifice on which is built the character of children. Every facet of life stems from recognising this fundamental injunction. The Holy Quran on this count of worship towards Allah, is very clear. Children are reminded to be kind to parents; however should the parents not be abiding to the concept of worship to Allah alone, they have license to be dis-obedient to their (parents) demands. We have enjoined on man kindness to parents, but if they (either of them) strive to force thee to join with Me (in worship), anything of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not... (XXIX:8). It is established that obedience from children will be forthcoming only, if parents lead their lives, within the ambit of worshipping Allah alone. The prophet (PBUH) loved children generally and his affection for his own children and grand children was exemplary. It is quoted in Tirmizi that Ayyub Ibn Musa related that the prophet said, 'A father can give his son nothing better than a good education. again Abu Said Khurdi related Prophet PBUH said that, 'whoever is blessed with children should teach them good manners. As parents our religion demands, that in dealing with the off springs no distinction is to be made between a male child and female child. Both have to be treated in like fashion. In fact if at all emotions are to overtake judicious approach, it is the female child that may receive better treatment. It is narrated in Bukhari that Hazrat Ayesha Said: 'A woman once came begging to me with her two daughters. All I could find was a single date, which I gave her. She divided it between her daughters and kept none for herself. When Rasullalah came, I told him what had happened as he said: anyone who has daughters and is kind to them will find that they become his/her protection from hell. What great nobility of character is enshrined in the behaviour and conduct of Prophet PBUH, who always stood up, whenever his beloved daughter Hazrat Fatima walked into his chambers. Here a loving father through his act instills in his daughter the terms of training that she was to imbibe in Hazrat Imam Hassan and Hazrat Imam Hussain Whilst teaching and training children we need only look to verse 17 and 18 of Surah Luqman, to know the areas of behavior that require inculcation. 'O my son establish regular prayers, enjoin what is Just, forbid what is wrong: and bear with patient constancy whatever betide thee: for this is fairness (of purpose) in (the conduct of) affairs (XXXI:17) further, ' swell not thy cheek (for pride) at men, nor walk in insolence through the earth; for Allah loveth not any arrogant boaster. (XXXI: 18) ;and be moderate in thy pace and lower thy voice; for the harshest of sounds without doubt is the braying of the ass. (XXXI: 19). Parents in an Islamic society must rehearse through self practice, the following which would serve as the basis of best parenting practices i.e. establish regularity in the performance of prayers, stand up for justice, rebut what is wrong, exercise extreme patience in worst adversity, show humility, shun and reject arrogance, walk with eyes cast downwards, walk gently with virtue and grace and in speech lower the decibel level of voice. Such parents will illuminate the lives of their children. A child is only a reflection of his/her parents. Email: azizsirajuddin@gmail.com