It’s a bad joke, the things Pakistani’s are made to go through.

Abdus Salam worked on the unified weak and electromagnetic interaction between elementary particles and got himself a Nobel Prize but he being an Ahmedi and as a role model, he cannot be celebrated by the masses at large. He is dishonoured and continues to face the brunt of this exasperation even today.

Then comes in Malala- the one with the X-chromosome and to make matters worse, she is educated and strong. Besides simply believing in her rights, she propagates them too. She talks about education. Pakistanis don’t seem to like educated women. She gets a Nobel Prize as well and the country unifies in criticizing her and dedicating itself to a smear campaign that never really seems to lose its momentum. With her goes another opportunity to celebrate the Nobel award.

And then, enter Nargis Mavalvala. Pakistanis rejoiced at the discovery of the gravitational waves even though not many know or care for what they are and what this discovery means. Pakistanis rejoice, however, because a person like them was involved in something that is being celebrated across the world. After all, who doesn’t enjoy eating away a bit of the spotlight? We see a repetition of the Zayn Malik obsession. Suddenly, there is no one more Pakistani than Mavalala. The nation happily takes the credit for her discovery. Pakistanis becomes proud of themselves. And then, at the highest point of these celebrations, tragedy struck. First, she turns out to be a Parsee. But, Pakistanis are brave people and they decide to accept this with a grain of salt, at least she is not a Hindu or, much, much worse, an Ahmedi. If anything, it makes the Pakistani people look more tolerant. Yes, she will be celebrated even if she is a Parsee. But, it gets worse. The worst actually. It turns out she is a lesbian. The admiration turns to anger and disgust in mere moments. The Pakistanis have been betrayed again. Another opportunity of celebrating a potential Nobel Prize has been snatched away from them. The country, endlessly strong in its hard times, unites again. This time, praying for the ground beneath Mavalala to overturn. After all, it has been promised as such.

The Pakistanis are good people it’s just that they tend to be ludicrous in their priorities. Case in point, Valentine’s Day. The President comes out of his cave and announces that Valentine’s day is against our culture, customs and will lead to societal degradation. The presidential decree has the national infrastructure engage in a race against time. The game is this: hide and destroy red heart balloons and cards because, apparently, they deserve more police attention than other everyday Pakistani problems. The police are also told to be on a watch for a boy and a girl going somewhere or sitting somewhere together. They are officially given the right to go Maya Khan on any such couples. It’s a noble cause, they are told. Remember your oaths of protecting the Pakistani from bad things, such as love. The security infrastructure follows the orders diligently and Valentine’s day is officially banned.

It’s interesting how the Pakistanis don’t protest this. Yes there are the Marvi Sirmeds who do, but they are so few in number that their voices don’t even count. Their opinions are shrugged off. In this part of the world, the number is the rationale. If the numbers have beards, it’s even more rationale.

But this week has not really been only about bad-love and girls gone wild. Our Prime Minister too had ways to prove that priorities can be skewed, absurd and completely ridiculous. For example, just the other day, he showed his anger at NAB for doing its work. He warned that legal infrastructure will be engaged if the said organisation does not stop doing its work right and exposing corruption in the government systems and projects. The Prime minister and his brother clearly like their metros and orange trains more than what the constitution of the country says to them. It is rumoured that the said reaction against the NAB chairman, Qamar Zaman Chaudhry, comes due to personal ire.

Cases made and progressed during Musharaff’s era are being unearthed. A confession made by the current finance minister, the great Ishaq Dar, is also said to be being built upon. And then there is the news that NAB is being nudged by the uniforms who just had it go through the corrupt in Sindh, leaving them bloody. The Prime minister clearly does not like the concept of accountability as it works against his form of government and the many governments before him. NAB needs to be stopped lest it sets a precedent and harasses his future generations who will be Prime Ministers of their era as well.

I have been told this one too many times that the Pakistanis, with all their problems, are people who are good at heart. It’s just patience that they need. They would soon kick away the blankets of murky and tainted conscience and become the beings who embrace human things. I am also told that the Pakistani’s are stubbornly resilient. The last one I agree with for I too am a Pakistani and even in the face of all that there is, I refuse to give up on my fellow Pakistanis. The world laughs at me. I laugh along with them.