We want to fill our life with the spirit of love and happiness, but how many of us do actually wonder the reason of us being deprived of them? Hardly one or two percent. We are so busy in desiring and striving to get our desires fulfilled that we don't focus on the reason of us being the way we are; gloomy and unsatisfied.

We just want to whine about how we are, instead of thinking about the solutions that might help us in coming out of the temporal dungeon of problems, for whining is easier than mustering up courage to change the current state. Whining doesn't need a great deal of courage, but only few stories upon which we can sniffle again and again, and a few people who can give us a shoulder to cry on, giving us a bundle of false hopes while exchanging some sobs.

We think someone else will come to solve our problems and we just have to order him to carve the things our way. But, mind me say that, we're fooling ourselves. We are being the slaves of our own destiny instead of being a ruler. We need to know our flaws leaving all kinds of prejudices aside. Only introspection is the solution to our problems that can help us analyze where we are lacking. Let's suppose 'A' is trying to introspect in order to resolve his issues. This is what he finds:

Blind trust in the opinions of others

I don't see myself the way I should, instead I use my fellows as a mirror to see myself. I trust their image of mine more than my own image of myself. This thought is proceeded by a session of self-interrogation:

a) Does their opinion of me create any problem in my life?

b) Do they matter to me so much?

c) Isn't it better to be judged by others since they know what I don't know about myself, but how can they know me more than me?

d) Are they trying to motivate me through their derogatory remarks, so that in order to prove them wrong, I work hard?

Self-pity

I think I pity myself a lot. I consider myself the root cause of every problem, even of those problems too that are not even related to me. I love sympathizing with myself since I've none who could feel my pain. *At this point, A is given a warning by his brain that, he is pitying again, so he stops pitying for a moment.* I feel self-pity is a vicious whirlpool that loves making me whirl around it for hours and I have no help from outside so I remain passively active. I feel I don't what I want to feel; and that's what makes me pity for hours.

Phobia

I am someone who have already succumbed to his phobias, be it exam phobia, phobia of living, phobia of facing people or social phobia. I could never muster up enough courage to overcome them; as a result, I'm experiencing so many problems that I never thought I would. Phobias make one insecure by snatching his self-confidence from him, making him weak and fragile.

Coming up with faulty arguments for the sake of it

Long ago, I read a book regarding ADHD where I read that parenting is a learning process and it shouldn't be viewed from an angle of perfectionism and I was too impressed reading that. For a moment, I felt a pyramid of my thoughts — I don't want kids because I can't nurture them the way I should — is toppling down, but today when I read it back, I found it misleading. It seems to falter on a path of facts terribly. You can't defend parents and parenting just by giving an argument that though it is a learning process, so there is a probability of errors.

A is confident that these realizations will help him resolve his issues, but are we ready to analyze ourselves the way he did so that we can also boast of being the ruler of our own destiny?