Someone somewhere must have made a mistake. Over here, it must be Mufti Muneeb, the Ruet-i-Hilal Committee chairman. The whole Muslim world began Ramazan on the same day. One Eid? And without sending Maulana Popalzai, of Peshawar’s Mahabbat Khan Mosque, on umra.

Me, I put it down to speed of communication. Once we were comfortably isolated, and had to depend on the naked eye for seeing the moon. But now hardly has the moon been spotted in Saudi Arabia that someone is phoning here to tell the people back home the good news. And they are puzzled that they have to wait an extra day. If the moon is sighted in Jeddah, there is more moral pressure now to see it in Jhang than if the news of the sighting was only to arrive after a couple of days, from a courier on horseback.

Anyhow, once Mufti Muneeb had kindly granted us permission to fast, it was time for school holidays. Now I think we’re beginning to cut it a little close. I think we’ll have the kids going to school while it’s Ramazan soon, maybe from next year. Already, they still have to go to school for exams. So now they’ll have to cheat in Ramazan.

One kid who won’t experience the holidays was Sabika Sheikh, the Karachi girl who was an exchange student in the USA, and as such was at the Santa Fe High School, in Texas, not all that far from Austin, when Dimitrios Pagourtzis, 17, a fellow student, opened fire and killed 10 people. That is like the shooting in a high school in Florida in which 17 students and teachers were killed in February. The shooter’s name should give President Donald Trump a new ethnicity to ban. Of course he won’t stop kids getting guns.

However, Trump might not bother. German dogs, a pack of dachshunds, six of them, most with some collie or setter admixture, killed Tracy Garcia in southern Oklahoma when they attacked her on May 10. A Hispanic savaged by sausage dogs, which is a German breed (don’t forget, Trump’s grandparents were all German). Symbolic, isn’t it?

Well, where Trump will have to chortle in private about the Oklahoma savaging, he’ll probably have to keep quiet his grief about the marriage of a British prince with an American TV actress. Who is also black. Well, her father is white, and her mother mulatto, but all Americans know that means she’s black. Back in the 19th century, there were a number of British aristocrats who repaired family fortunes by marrying American heiresses, but no one has said that Prince Harry’s bride brings a large fortune with her. And anyway, Harry is only a younger son. True, in the 19th century, heiresses were white.

There’s also a British royal tradition of association with actresses. Both George IV and his brother William IV are supposed to have married actresses back in the 18th century, when they were young princes about town. These marriages were kept secret, and did not have the sanction of their father, George III. However, Harry has got the formal permission needed from the Queen required to keep him in line to the throne. Well, the aristocratic tradition was for a chorus girl, and at least Meghan Merkle isn’t one of those.

And then there was the eight-month-old Laila, killed in Palestine by tear gas. Her death just shows that mamoos are not to be trusted. The mother, herself just 17, had gone to keep a dentist’s appointment, leaving her baby in the care of her younger brother, aged eight. He then went off to the Palestinian protesters at the border with Israel, in search of his own mother, the baby’s grandmother. He found her, but then there was tear-gassing, and the baby died, unable to breathe. (54 other Palestinians were killed by the Israeli forces in protests against the inauguration of the US Embassy in Jerusalem.)

She didn’t live long enough to be part of the #MeToo movement, which saw the Pulitzer Prize Board Chairman, novelist Junot Diaz, step down after a month in the job, while he was investigated for sexual misconduct. The New York Attorney General, a supporter of the #MeToo movement, resigned after reports in the media of his hitting women.

Mian Nawaz Sharif is also in hot water, but not over the #MeToo movement. He’s supposed to have done something much worse: said that someone was protecting the non-state actors who perpetrated the 2008 Mumbai attacks. He didn’t name the military, but that is what he implied. That has created the impression that he was attacking the military which he also blamed for his own ouster. Is the problem what he said, or the fact that he showed he was not under the same sort of control as Imran Khan?

Apart from Mian Nawaz, the military was having a hard time because the US military attaché was flown abroad at last, after having killed one young man, and injured two others. Amid all the noise, no one seems to have thought to ask how Colonel Hall hit three people on a two-man motorbike.

Even though he got off as freely as Ray/mond Davis, though to be fair he didn’t use a gun as Davis did, he still gets the blame for the death. But who is to blame for the death of about 4000 girls under five annually in India because of the ‘sex bias’ that lets them go hungry or not get medical treatment they need? Not Shashi Tharoor, the Indian who became a UN Undersecretary General, and is now accused of killing his wife. Murdering wives seems to be an Indian thing, what with the rumours swirling over actress Sridevi’s death, and the conviction of TV host Suhaib Ilyasi for his wife’s murder.

While Indians seem to kill wives, Indonesians seem to blow themselves up. Two families did so in Surabaya, one in a series of churches, another at the police station. Well, now we know the militant version of the old slogan ‘the family that prays together, stays together’: ‘The family that prays together, explodes together’.