A man who was trying to convert his own faeces into gold has been convicted on the charge of arson. Paul Moran from Enniskillen, Northern Ireland had left his faeces on a heater with fertiliser and other waste products when a fire started in his flat, says The Impartial Reporter. The court judge presiding the case told him: "Rather bizarrely, you were attempting to make gold from human faeces and waste products. It was an interesting experiment to fulfil the alchemist's dream, but wasn't going to succeed." Moran, 30, will be jailed for three months after he admitted that he endangered other people's lives as a result of the fire. He was also given a one-month concurrent sentence for throwing his faeces around his holding cell. During the trial, his lawyer claimed that Moran was someone of "considerable intellectual ability". The total damage done to the flat was reportedly around 3,000 ($4,700). DS