It is not easy being a woman anywhere in the world but it is a tad more difficult than usual being a woman in Pakistan. Living anywhere in Pakistan is a little bit of a hindrance for women. From shopping to working, everything in Pakistan is a whole new ball game for women. You have to be prepared anywhere and at any time.

1.      Men stare and stare and stare – old men and young men, bearded men and clean-shaven men, the supposedly religious and the avowedly secular. If there`s a woman or anything that belongs to the female species, even a goat, it will be stared at deeply. “Take a deep breath, let that sink in, and accept it. Done? OK, moving on.” Wait! If you think that covering yourself is the method to escape from these 'men' then you r wrong... no matter what u wear, they will stare.

2.      Be prepared to be called a ‘baji’ by a man at least twice your age with a beard white enough to rival Santa’s. If he rubs his beard while talking to you, RUN! The word ‘baji’ means nothing. With Pakistanis marrying their first cousins at an alarming 75% rate, chances are, his wife called him ‘bhaijaan’ right up to the Valima after which he automatically became ‘Jaanu.’ So uhm… yeah RUN!

3.      You have to keep your purses fastened, locked, placed inside another bag, and clutched tightly under your arms, because that lady there in the full burqa and naaqab is going to steal your money, cell phone, and maybe that last stick of ding dong too. (ref: Anarkali, Ichra and Park Towers.) And no you may not ask her to take her burqa off to check if she did in fact steal from you, because that would just be inappropriate. Wait a sec! You don’t know even if she`s really a lady or...

4.      Okay, then if you are a bold, outspoken lady, and if you used to question the authorities, you know what you will get in return? “CHAMAAT” Yes, oh, I mean a “light beating”. You are supposed to keep your mouths shut. One thing more, according to a study carried out in 2009 by the Human Rights Watch, it is estimated that between 70 and 90 percent of women in Pakistan have suffered some form of abuse. An estimated 5000 women are killed per year in domestic violence, with thousands of others maimed or disabled.

5.      So moving on, if you ever found standing or talking with some opposite gender, you are going to be stared at, especially by desi aunties. You know what you will be called? “Slut! Whore! Oh you dater!” or “Larki kharab hai! Shaadi kardo”. You remember Afshan Azad, an actress of Pakistani origin, was beaten and throttled by her father and brother because she was heard talking on the phone with her Hindu boyfriend. Although they used violence against her, Afshan still loves her family and is pleading for violence charges to be dropped against her father and brother because she does not want them to go to jail.

6.      If you are walking on the road, hanging out, shopping (especially visiting Shahi Qila, Town Tower, Aurega, Jillani Park, etc.), you have to be more conscious by keeping your arms neatly tucked in like in a football because that guy there… yes, there with the roving eye and center parting with more oil on his hair than Saudi Arabia… will start singing “Tu cheez badi hai mast mast” or “Afreen Afreen” under his sniff.  At this moment, you have two options: either to ignore him, or to slap him with your desi chappal.

7.      If you are found riding a bicycle or a scooty, then be ready, you are going to be harassed on the street and nobody except Allah can save you. I think you forgot what happened to Aneeqa Ali, a female bicycler, who was injured by boys in DHA Lahore just because she was riding a bicycle and was alone.

For females in an imbalanced society, living life can sometimes feel like an application in traversing terror.

After all, many of the messages Pakistani women receive in life are bigoted: we're told 'don't go to the bazaar alone', 'stop laughing so loud', 'don't stay out so late', 'stop being pushy in an argument'. We’ve heard of many incidents of domestic violence, and there are countless others that we might not even have heard of. It’s a pity that I have to say this, but ladies, please feel free to exist.

Having said that, I think I should go and write my will now.