S:     Hurry up with the coffee; I have a match to watch.

A:     Which one?

S:     Arsenal vs Manchester United, it starts in an hour. I can't tell you how long I've been waiting for this one.

A:     Oh, football.

S:     Why do I sense distaste in your tone? Don't you like football?

A:     I like it well enough, I just don't understand how you guys can be so excited about a football match in a league in another country, with teams representing foreign cites, especially for a sport that not a lot of people play in Pakistan. All this football fandom, wearing shirts and watching match screenings, seems a little superficial too me.

S:     You’re a cricket player. I thought as a sportsman you would understand the feeling. And wait a minute; weren't you the one who made popcorn to watch the World Cup finals? What happened then? Germany and Argentina weren't in Punjab the last time I checked.

A:     That was just another global event that I participated in. What I don’t get is how you guys watch matches throughout the year, fight with each other over ‘your’ team being better, like you were born and bred in London.

S:     This might seem odd to you, I can imagine, but this is not about showing off or fashion. This is about becoming emotionally invested in the fate of a team, just like we become emotionally invested in a fictional character in a TV series or a book. I started following Arsenal when I picked it while playing FIFA on my PlayStation as a kid, because its name started with an A and it was on the top of the options; now over the years I’ve grown to love it. It’s just harmless fun.

A:     Harmless fun? I’ve seen you guys fighting, it’s like you all are in different clans at war.

S:     Sometimes, despite being such a manly man, you understand very little about masculinity.