Almost all our presidents and prime ministers frequently flew between Pakistan and the rest of the globe. The visits cost the treasury whole tankfuls of money. The masses kept furiously firing objection missiles at the fliers. The fliers kept defending themselves with full vigour. They asserted that the visits were undertaken for further deepening the already existing deep relationships with the foreign countries. The more the visits, the deeper the relationships. Unfortunately, it was never revealed how much new depth was added to the already existing depth. Nor was it revealed how many visits would be needed to get to the bottom of the relationship. Obviously, if the relationship got as deep as the bottom then no more visit would be needed. But the fliers were extremely lucky. In no case they were able to get to the bottom. Naturally, they kept flying. Unfortunately, the self-defence of the fliers was a fake defence. The reality was fundamentally different. Actually, the political atmosphere in the country has eternally been poisonous. The visits were undertaken for medical reasons. The poisonous atmosphere warned the rulers that in order to keep their political lungs healthy they must keep flying out of the country for fresh air. The rulers had no choice. Instead of criticising the visits, the masses ought to have been sympathetic with the fliers. Pakistan has its 13th president. Some believe that 13 is an ominous number. Some others believe that it is a propitious number. Let them wrangle about it. Whether the number would bring us some relief or further worsen our lot only time knows. Lately, the PPP won the presidential elections. The party workers and the party lovers danced wildly in the streets. But surprisingly, the party top-brass was not seen dancing along with the workers. Actually, they must have danced and danced more wildly. But they must have danced secretly. Whenever in the past a new government assumed power, it forthwith proclaimed that it would solve the bread-problem of the masses. No government ever guaranteed the masses an overall comfortable life-style. Such a life-style would have distinguished the masses from the animals. The animals have only one problem. It is their stomach-problem. To give them a reasonable comfortable life-style would deprive them of their brotherhood with the animals. Luckily no government has so far been so criminal to deprive the masses of their fraternity with the animals. Had any government committed such a crime it would have shocked the animals. Having a common life-style with the human beings must be the animals' idea of paradise. There is a tradition that when someone is elected as president, he is felicitated nationally as well as internationally. The tradition is as old as democracy itself. But it is a nasty tradition. Those who are excited to felicitate the victor must hold back their felicitation and wait. And during the waiting they must keep watching what the victor does with his powers. Only the quality of his performance should decide whether he deserves felicitations or a rough rapping on his knuckles. Those who have already offered their felicitations but are frustrated by the victor's performance must be repentant. But their repentance can't give them back their felicitations. If the felicitations are offered as a reward for good performance then the felicitations would help the receiver during his next fight for a re-election. Our 13th president should return all the felicitations which have been showered upon him And he should tell his felicitators: "Please wait and watch my performance. I would gratefully accept your felicitations if I deserve them." In Pakistan every democratically elected government has had three cabinets. The first cabinet is a cabinet of elected ministers. The second cabinet is a cabinet of officially appointed advertisers. The third cabinet is a cabinet of secret advisers. This cabinet is called the Kitchen Cabinet. Obviously, the ministers and the officially appointed advisers are paid by the treasury. But who pays the secret advisers? It is a mystery. And how much are they paid? It is a greater mystery. Despite such a plethora of ministers, officially appointed advisers and secret advisers things have always been woefully chaotic. Perhaps a remedy lies in increasing the number of cabinets. Let's have a fourth cabinet. If things don't improve then let's have a fifth cabinet. And if things still don't improve then let's have a sixth cabinet. And if things still don't improve then let's keep on increasing the number of our cabinets till we attain salvation. The writer is an academic