Once upon a time we had a film industry, which produced some breathtaking productions despite having limited resources. Over the years, that generation of artists, directors and producers have become extinct and are replaced by a “talent”, which is churning out the worst form of garbage on the celluloid year after year with impunity. It is said that cinema is a depiction and reflection of a country’s culture and norms; our film industry on that count has truly done justice to portray what we have evolved into over the years.

For some weird reason, our industry is ferociously called “Lollywood”. Maybe the logic behind this caption was to achieve someday the distinction of producing films, which would put “Hollywood” productions to shame. That day has not dawned yet and if one is inclined towards scientific developments as researched by the world renowned physicists, Stephen William Hawking and Richard Dawkins, the possibility of that eventuality happening in our universe is certainly next to impossible.

The first catchy thing that attracts the viewers is generally the name of the film. We have somehow mastered this art with utmost perfection. Last year, we produced some masterpieces titled “Taxi 707”, “Basheera Gujjar” (can’t they ever leave the Gujjars alone), “Kaloo Badshah”, “Maan Puttar”, “Shahoo Lailpuriya”, “Raees Gujjar”, “Goga”, “Bilu da Kharaak”, “Yaar Badmaash”, “Thaakur 420”, “Society Girl” and to top it all, “Run Mureed”. Perhaps, translating these titles into English language will be a great disservice to humanity.

Then we have the cast of the film. The legendary Sultan Rahi ruled the Punjabi film industry for almost two decades. He was instrumental in introducing the “gandasa” culture mixed with “Kalashnikovs” to kill the maximum number of people in the shortest possible period of time with the flow of human blood surpassing any image of the hell in life hereafter.

The present lot includes Shaan, who despite having good educational background owing to his education abroad, is sucked in by the producers, offering him vulgar amount of money to help produce equally vulgar output.

Who said our film industry does not produce pornography? Just watch any Pushto or Punjabi blockbuster (preferably without family). Not long time back, my friend innocently took his 12-year old child to watch “family entertainment”; since then the poor child has gone demented with regular bouts of hallucinations having no medical cure available with leading psychiatrists in the country.

And then we have the “well fed” actresses whose performance on the screen will put the sumo wrestlers to shame. Sometime back, in the name of encouraging the film industry, our producers requested the government to allow the tax-free import bigger screens with the sole concern being to ensure that some of our actresses can fit into the wide spectrum. Somehow being overweight is the prime criteria for any actress to succeed on the big screen. One can only feel sorry for the heroes, who are made to pick up these ladies and eventually leave their profession because of multiple fractures and lifelong backbone ailments.

The gyrating of the body parts in every conceivable direction with lightning speed is another specialty, which the actresses across the border in Bollywood have yet to learn from our stars. It is said that the “squint eye” ailment suffered by many owes its roots to watching excess of these acrobatics.

Last but not the least, the regular appearance of some actresses, declaring their age in teens (and multiple marriages rumours) when their contemporary actresses, have mothered around four children, if not more, is a nauseating display of playing with people’s sensibilities. There is always an end to one’s career, a fact the ladies fail to understand.

Certain things in life are destined to end. Prolonging their departure is like inflicting agony to many who still have some hope left in the revival of this already dead industry. The best way to deal with it is to remember good memories and the best of times, while letting go the present pathetic state of affairs prevailing on the big screen. It will eventually die its own death, sooner or later, but at least just don’t let it take your life too.

The writer is a PhD in Information Technology, alumni of King’s College London and a social activist. He is life member of the Pakistan Engineering Council and senior international editor for IT Insight Magazine. He has authored two books titled Understanding Telecommunications and Living In The Grave and several research papers. Email: drirfanzafar@gmail.com Blog: drirfanzafar.com