Winning ways

I feel my readers expect me to write about Pakistan winning the Twenty20 World Cup at Lord's last Sunday. There's no denying it, I feel like writing about it too. It's good to get away from the madding crises around us and talk of something nice for a change, especially when there is a humorous side to it as well. Sure Pakistan needed some good news, as everyone is ranting on, but I find the contention rather overdone. After all, a cricket match is only a cricket match. It is not tantamount to defeating terrorists and ending foreign interference in our land much less ending all our problems. Have you ever thought about it though, that none of Pakistan's security problems are homegrown but were begotten outside its borders and we have been left holding the baby every time like mutts? The freedom uprising in Indian subjugated Kashmir is a British-Indian creation but it is we who are landed with Kashmiri refugees and freedom fighters, including in their latest incarnation, the Lashkar-i-Taiba. The four million Afghan refugees living off us for nearly three decades are a Soviet creation. So are the mujahideen to free Afghanistan from Soviet occupation. The mujahideen-turned-Taliban - holy warriors of God turned terrorists in American eyes - are a creation of American abandonment and most recently of the US and NATO stepping into Soviet shoes and occupying and subjugating Afghanistan just like the Soviets did, though under different but equally facetious pretexts. The non-Afghan fighters that we are landed with that coalesced under the Al-Qaeda umbrella were created by their own countries. The mini-insurgency in Balochistan has historically been supported by the late Soviet Union and now Russia with India always in cahoots while our 'great allies' the Americans have looked the other way. I can go on and on but at the end of the day the fault, dear countrymen, lies not in our stars but in ourselves that we allow this to happen. Let's get back to cricket. For me the good aspect of the victory was that for a brief moment Pakistan showed that it is a nation with people celebrating in every nook and cranny of the country over a pleasant issue and not something as tragic as an earthquake or a war. Without wishing to make a big thing out of it, it does show that we are not as disunited as advertised. The only thing we lack is something good to unite around. I have to say that the Indians are as graceless in defeat as the Sri Lankans are gracious in defeat - and in victory. So dignified, but that came through clear as crystal after the terrorist attack on them in Lahore. Not 24 hours after our victory I got a letter from a peculiar Indian without grace who writes to me and other columnists in Pakistan often (don't these guys have anything better to do than to regularly read our articles and then have a seizure?) saying that Pakistan has copied India in everything. "We won the ODI World Cup first then you went and won it in 1992," said this graceless Indian. "Then we won the T20 the first time round and next you have gone and won it. Why don't you follow our example in something that matters?" My graceless Indian correspondent forgets that India first unleashed nuclear terror in the subcontinent in 1974 and we perforce had to follow suit and acquired a fearful nuclear arsenal of our own. Does that matter? Not to forget that India has some 79 percent of its people living in abject poverty on $2 a day or less and we have followed suit though have not yet been able to catch up with the neighbours that we're landed with, with 'only' 73 percent of our population living in poverty. That must matter. But why labour the point in a happy moment? Okay, let's get down to cricket, but before I do so I have to mention this other Indian (same difference as the Indians would say) - who wrote to me only today saying that Shahid Afridi is graceless and doesn't have a brain. Give me more brainless Afridis, I say They are better than the brainy Indians. At least they bring the bear home. I must stress, though, that not for a minute do I mean that all Indians are idiots. Far from it. But the many that are do provide great diversion in difficult times. Thank God for them. Never would I wish them away. More power to their elbows. India's problem is frustration. It tried its best to isolate Pakistan from international cricket but we are still a cricketing force to reckon with after winning the T20 World Cup. Considering that our boys hardly got an international game after 2007 they still became T20 World Champions. India's effort has gone down the drain. Chin up boys, next time round you might win again. Then you can start jumping and hopping and screaming "India Shining" or "Shining India" or whatever it is that you want us to believe. Okay, finally to cricket. I promise you I will not get diverted this time, though I am waiting anxiously for the graceless and demented letters I am going to receive from my Indian neighbours in response to this article. "You don't know anything. You don't know India. We are much better than you in everything and anything. Why, we can even do the Indian rope trick. Can you?" And so on and so stupid forth. I'm thinking of starting a website. If I do, I will seriously consider posting all the demented letters I have received from my "much-better-than-us-at-everything" Indian neighbours, except the ones with abuse and downright filth. I might even reply to some, something I have never done, much to their chagrin. When they don't answer my questions, why the hell should I answer theirs? For example, it has been quite a while since I asked them to explain how rubber dinghies brimming with terrorists could evade the might of the great Indian navy and coast guard in full cry during an exercise on the high seas aimed at thwarting just such an eventuality? That's not the half of it. They managed to land at Bombay's main pier, hail taxis under the noses of the great Indian police, load them with crates of weapons, go off and buy provisions from a market and then proceed to occupy the most high profile buildings in the city. It defies credulity. All I get in response is: "Your government has admitted that Ajmal Kasab is a Pakistani." Okay, so he is a Pakistani. Big deal. We have many Indian terrorists in our jails as well but your government has never had the grace to admit who they are. And in any case, it doesn't answer my questions. Was Kasab one of the passengers on one of the rubber dinghies or was he in situ already? When did he get to India? Who were the Indians who were helping them? Nothing. Not a squeak. Yet, India's two-time proxy prime minister (Sonia is the one they really want) goes on and on saying, that we will not resume the dialogue for peace until you finish terrorism in your country first. Who the hell is going to explain to this otherwise educated gentleman that until his country finishes state terrorism, terrorism against India within our country or anywhere else will not finish? But it is our fault too for living the pipedream that India will one day agree to an acceptable Kashmir solution or that there will be peace between our countries in our lifetimes. The most we can hope for is the absence of war and needling one another - what they call 'normalisation'. We should forget about love, peace and friendship and stop wasting each other's time. And we should stop being so stupid as to expect India to consciously shoot itself in the foot by agreeing to a Kashmir solution, causing further fragmentation. That's it. We journalists rarely keep our promises. I promised to write about cricket but instead I have gone and written about that huge country next to us with a small country mentality and a tiny heart. It's been fun, though. Next week, I promise, I will write about the T20 World Cup. The writer is senior political analyst. E-mail: humayun.gauhar@gmail.com

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