“Chose your self-presentations carefully, for what starts out as a mask may become your face”, said the most influential sociologist of 20th century, Erving Goffman. That we human beings are blessed with the ability to think, imagine and predict, also enables us to maintain different personalities with each of them retaining its unique situational relevance. Generally, we carry a persona, the outward manifestation to world; and, deep down, there is a true personality which eventually controls our actions.
To further comprehend the intent of this topic, take a look at few common personality types: curious or cautious, social or solitary, principled or sham, energetic or dull, outspoken or reserved, compassionate or unkind, aggressive or polite, thoughtful or reckless, proud or unassuming; this keeps going to the mammoth number of 18,000 traits as estimated by psychologists. The point under consideration is that many of them will be public and the rest will remain secret – perhaps, due to fear of reaction from society. But regardless, how important is it to discover and awaken the separate world accommodating our coexistence?
To answer this, we need to realize and acknowledge the significance of genuine reality compared to the impressions it constitutes. The so-called ‘tip of the iceberg’, the base coat of painting, the vastness of roots feeding a tree, the gas fueling your car originally lived in a rock for million years, the not-so-elegant muscles making up our pretty face; all these examples emphasize the need to think through objects and images, human behavior included.
It is important to unearth our true personality in many ways. First, we need to know the degree of separateness of our two sides. Of course, we must behave differently as the world we live in is not homogeneous – it could be personal, professional, casual, or a combination. Nevertheless, the contrast should not be too large to give rise to an internal conflict. For instance, if you are assumed to be caring and kind at work, you must not be aggressive and harsh in personal spaces. Or, your jolly public personality should not be hiding a disturbed state of mind. Such a situation is neither stable nor maintainable and is thus destined to collapse; you can never sail on two boats!
Moreover, it is not advisable to try an uncomfortable mask that will quickly stick to your face. In other words, certain impressions are not favourable but get in shape – or rather become sculpted – instantly. For example, there is always a late comer – in class, gathering or workplace; a friend who suddenly opts a label – like strictly health conscious, studious or overzealously religious; an unsolicited adviser; a mate who enjoys being mocked at, and may potentially be taken for granted. These examples are self-explanatory for why they should not be followed, and it is best not to create such images at first place because they stubbornly attach with your name once formed.
On the other front, the observers should also be meticulous to build the impressions. Prejudice, judgement and perceptions may lead to undermine our understanding of the people. Is every bearded man conservative? Are all politicians cut from same cloth? Is every D Grader dumb? Is every fat person lazy to exercise? The pitfall of stereotyping such as this fails to acknowledge exceptions who still constitute a considerable fraction of society.
The relevance of this discussion becomes far too important for social media where the profiles are usually constructed without due deliberation and are thus prone to mislead. The pretence of looking rich, devout and intellectual, for example, may deflate like a balloon in the offline world. Therefore, the statement of Ervin Goffman – choosing your image carefully – said some 60 years ago, weighs in more strongly on web spaces.
In a rapidly globalised world, the importance of finding and living up to our own personality cannot be stressed enough. Time and again, it has been proved that living as a ‘celebrity’ with fault lines is not worth as compared to anonymous person with real contentment.