It baffles me that women all over Pakistan and India are so alarmingly being raped and the response is to start a debate over whose fault was it: the one who proximately decided to rape, or the one who had no choice – the ‘victim’.

“Why was she out at night?” someone asked. 

Like the act itself was not traumatic enough for her, our society starts molesting the ounce of integrity that a woman tries to save by convincing herself that ‘she did not cause it’.

We try our best to tell her that it was you. Your clothes, the way you walk, the smile, makeup, it’s your fault that you were not locked away somewhere like a piece of jewelry.

The woman goes through each moment before the incident, thinking ‘that was a sign I should have stayed home’ – more than all you masculinists, who take up every opportunity to advocate how women should stay in their homes.

You don’t know how many times she prayed for the nightmare to end, to wake up in the safety of her four walls.

More than you all, she hopes to go back in time and lock herself in. But she can’t take it back. Her life has changed forever. One incident that was never her fault, will haunt her for the rest of her life.

Her psychological trauma aside, what do we do? Scrutinize her, point fingers, and assassinate her character to pay our ransom to our misogynistic society.

It disgusts me.

The only person that deserves hatred and scrutiny, is the malicious lustful creepy-crawly. Would we ever question that monster? Why was there nobody asking him, where he was at that hour of the night? Why did his mother and father fail to raise him into a productive human being? What went wrong and what turned him into a sexual predator?

Let me introduce, a new line of questions. Rather than thinking about the woman, let’s start an alternative debate about the rapist. What might the causes be?

It might be because he reviled women, felt the need to dominate someone to feel like a man, but still couldn’t? Maybe he had been abused as a child? Maybe he was an addict, had too much to drink that night? Had too much testosterone circulating in his bloodstream and nowhere to go? Was vengeful for the feelings of inadequacy and meagerness? Had been brought up in a patriarchal culture with no value associated to women? Had viewed too much violence/misbehavior on television? Was addicted to violent pornography? A sex-addict? Maybe he hated his mother, his father, and/or had a rare violence-inducing gene or was mentally unstable?

Let’s start this debate instead.

Why, as a society, have we accepted the fact, that a man can get away with his immoral sexual expeditions?

You know why? Because we facilitate that. We help the rapist out!

Every single time you feel better by blaming the girl for walking out late at night, wearing nice clothes, putting on makeup or being attractive - you are helping a rapist out.

Let me settle this once and for all: No woman intends to get raped when she steps out of her door. Period.

For the past few years, the rape cases that come to surface from the South Asian Indo-Pak region are vicious and frightening.

In India, rape is the fourth most common crime against women.

According to the National Crime Records Bureau 2013 annual report, 24,923 rape cases were reported across India in 2012 and 36,735 rape cases were recorded in 2014. The number is just increasing.

In Pakistan, four women were raped every day in the country throughout 2014, accounting for the incidents taking place across Pakistan, according to a report released by War Against Rape (WAR).

Let’s not forget, a majority of rape cases, as elsewhere in the world, are never reported.

There are and must be a thousand factors contributing to the increasing rape incidents. But what made cringe were the support provided to violence against women by Hindu scriptures.

In a nutshell, a man’s virility is to ‘attack’ a woman and prove his ‘splendour’, and an independent and intelligent woman is a threat.

Out of a sea of arguments, just consider the simplest two:

1.      We as Muslims; are threatened by independent women.

Wasn’t the Prophet’s (P.B.U.H) wife an Independent Businesswoman who proposed the Prophet herself?

And now a woman who goes out to run an errand at night, is a characterless woman?

2.     We as Muslims; accept dowry from women

Dowry is a Hindu tradition but followed whole heartedly by us.

Irony is that dowry in the Prophet’s time was given by the man. Dowry, also known as Sidaq referred to the wealth that a husband offered his wife as a gift to show his true intention. Abdur Rahman ibn Awf visited Prophet Muhammad (saw) and said, "If you give Lady Fatimah's (sa) hand in marriage to me, I will put as her dowry a hundred camels covered with expensive Egyptian cloth followed by a thousand gold Dinars!" The Prophet (Saw) accepted Hazrat Ali’s (A.S) proposal instead.

We so cogently endorse that we are Muslims, Christians or from whichever other religion we belong to and put aside the geographical impression and the origin of our evolution. We are an amalgam of what we were and what we claim to be. We still have the fathers who cry at the birth of daughters, we still have mothers-in-law as greedy as the sun is bright. We still have men who have god-complex. We still are living in the dark ages.

The mere denial of our duality, will not solve the problem.

Accept it if you may. We as a society are degrading towards our women. Their needs are secondary to the pleasure of a man. The society we live in would any day trade in a daughter for a son. There is no healing of our land.

It makes me sad. It baffles me.