While going through my Facebook memories, a friendship reminder abruptly wrenched my heart. It said, “You became friend with one person “Anum Rustum” 5 years ago, today March 11, 2012 Sunday.” The memory breaks my patience as it was the same time when I literally was busy in the process of restoring my shattered broken heart and emotions in the stable form after returning back from a funeral of my childhood friend to whom I shared golden era of childhood with a lot of mischief’s and screw ups.  

I just can’t believe this happened to one of us. I just wanted to stop the world and just wanted to scream out loud. It’s very gloomy and difficult to put my tears into words as it’s been 8 days of hard trying every time my pen stops at the point, my heart bleeds and my tears make every word vague to follow up while writing in the account of this innocent soul who left us this early. When people covered his face and raised him towards his final destination, it felt like somebody took something from my heart, those recitations still echoes in my ears. I was stunned and just thinking over and over again that “We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return.”  

Some say that young people are not supposed to die. It feels like it is against all the rules of nature. It is not fair it should not happen. Unfortunately, it does happen and when it does it can be agonising. This sudden incident is a wakeup call for us that we are hanging with the tree of morality constantly trying to rescue ourselves. It requires greater courage to preserve inner freedom to move on in one’s inward journey into new realms than to stand for outer freedom, just a slip takes into world of immortality. I can’t cope up with my agony whenever I think that how melancholic it is when your name has been called in hall for receiving gold medal in MBBS but you are not present even in this world to receive it. Who knows that your preparation for serving your patients will takes you to the same hospital unconscious. It stings when I think that how painful it is when you are just one step ahead from your success to get your hard work rewarded.  

New dreams, hopes and journey towards life ends before it even starts. Anum, how fine was it when the day started with grace and how much it is graceful now, that you are remembered every morning with every opening eye. You remain in our prayers for eternity as time may heal anguish of the wound but the space you left and the loss of your existence can never be repaired. May Allah SWT grant you highest place in Jannat and bless you with His endless bounties. 


Abbottabad, March 12.