The recent exploits of our cricket team, with most players getting banned or fined but getting a pardon in the end, are celebrated countrywide. Now that the team is going on a very demanding tour to England, perhaps offering some unsolicited advice, call it tips on avoiding the 'usual disaster, would be in order here. So here are some; (a) Please do understand that notwithstanding how intense the urge may be to win and do your country proud, the ball is still not an apple. So dont go around biting it. Rest assured no matter how unobtrusively you may try to carry out this patriotic exercise, one or two of the 30 odd cameras around the playing field would record your caper. That would mean large-scale condemnation of you and the team and an early and ignominious return home. Now that is not what we want, do we? (b) All you expert fixers Do exercise your full expertise of 'fixing but only to the extent of fixing shortcomings of the team in aspects of the game, that is. But do desist from dropping the 'dolly/lolly catches, or playing those cow shots, especially when you are responsible for batting with a dire requirement. Similarly, no harm in showing responsible attitude while bowling, hard as it might be on you. (c) Nothing wrong with having a party. Do go ahead and groovy in pubs of your choice. But do not have them in the team hotel or dressing room itself. That would cause some bit of rift and might have you being banned. (Good news is that if you are 'politically correct, the ban may not last long). (d) If you cant suppress the desire to hit a team mate, use a cardboard thing because a Greynichols wooden bat can be kind of hard and might cause a fracture or two in the skull. (e) If you are given to gambling whenever you can and no matter what, please resist the temptation to do so during a match. The religious/legal aspects not withstanding, if the temptation overwhelms you, then do at least bet on your own team to win. It happens to represent Pakistan. (f) For team officials appointed by the PCB, the wives ought to be allowed to accompany husbands for the tour. It might result in better adherence to the 'lights off regimen if officials start doing it too instead of themselves getting into the act of boogying on the discotheque floor along with the boys. -S. M. ABBAS, Rawalpindi, May 29.