Cricket mail

Cricket is a game played on a round grass field using a bat and a ball, in which a team of eleven players field and deliver the ball, and a man named Misbahul Haq keeps letting it go or stopping it in a way that it doesn’t go too far. The objective of the game is to score as many runs as possible or get the other team out as early as possible, but Misbah neither scores runs nor gets out.
Here is some fan mail that we received after the Pakistani cricket team lost the World Cup quarterfinal.

Eggs and tomatoes
Sir,
This is in response to news reports that a large number of people broke their television screens when the Pakistani cricket team lost their World Cup matches, and some even waited at the airport to throw eggs and tomatoes at cricketers and officials.
I think this attitude is highly unpatriotic. Our national sport is hockey, not cricket. But nobody loves hockey. Nobody breaks their TV sets when Pakistan loses hockey matches. The game has been on decline for a while, and we have lost a number of series in the past years, but nobody ever waits at the airport with eggs and tomatoes to throw at hockey players and officials when they return to Pakistan after losing matches.
What is happening to our youth? Why have we become so insensitive?
Parveen Penalty,
Sialkot.

Mock wars
Sir,
Sports are a wonderful outlet for pent up emotions. Cricket games between Pakistan and India are literally mock wars, played in a tense atmosphere and involving rituals that sometimes resemble actual field battles.
Perhaps that is why we love our players so much that a half decent cricketer can make millions in salary, ad appearances and other such opportunities. But after losing to India in a World Cup game once again, I cannot help but think that we could use the billions that we spend on the game to buy actual weapons and defeat India in a war instead.
Gul Zaman Googly,
Peshawar.

Another four years
Sir,
It is unfortunate that Pakistan has lost the World Cup yet again. Now we will have to wait for four more years to listen to yet another cover of the 1992 World Cup song. I am very sad.
Backfoot Bashir,
Gujranwala.

Action Replay
Sir,
In a way I am glad that we did not win another World Cup in Australia. Pakistan cannot afford another cricketer turned politician. But I am curious about the next one. I just can’t wait to see how people will react when Pakistan loses another World Cup with Misbah as captain and an Akmal dropping catches behind the wicket.
Lastly, I want to suggest to the great cricketer Shahid Afridi that he should retire. I am sure there are many other ways of disappointing the Pakistani people that he can find and adopt, such as his designer Kurta collection.
Kashif Commentator,
Karachi.

Game
Sir,
My cousin and I are extremely disappointed by the performance of our cricket team in the World Cup. We watched all the games and it is clear that our players treat cricket as if it were some kind of a game.
We want to use this space to urge the cricket board to announce the new captain and the new team as soon as possible, so that so we can start preparing ahead of the next series the effigies that we will burn during and after the tour.
Duckworth & Lewis
Sahiwal.

Expert opinion
Sir,
I am truly disappointed at the coverage of the cricket World Cup on Pakistan’s television channels. There were sports experts on TV being abusive and dismissive towards our players. I am grateful that the tournament is over. Now we can go back to looking at political experts being abusive and dismissive towards politicians.
Dilnawaz Doosra,
Hafizabad.

Last man standing
Sir,
I think Pakistan lost the World Cup quarterfinal because of ridiculous ICC rules that do not allow the last man to play. We should follow the longstanding convention in cricket in the subcontinent that allows the 11th man to keep playing until he gets out, as long as he only scores in doubles.
Ehsan Extra,
Chaman.

Lessons learned
Sir,
There is a lesson for all of us in Pakistan’s devastating loss in the cricket World Cup – that it always helps to have a bunch of people to blame for all the ills that inflict our country.
Lateef Legcutter,
Lahore.

The author has a degree in Poetics of Prophetic Discourse and works as a Senior Paradigm Officer. He can be contacted at harris@nyu.edu. Follow him on Twitter 

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