London may have its equivalent of the Ambarsari Kashmiri, as it elected a Pakistan-origin bus driver’s son as Mayor. I first heard of Mayors of London when I read the story of Dick Whittington, who rose from poverty to become Lord Mayor four times between 1397 and 1407.

On the other hand, Lahore has either had an Arain, or a Kashmiri. Arains have usually been Lahori (like the late Mian Shujaur Rehman), but Kh Riaz Mehmud (of the stentorian voice) was an Amritsari (always pronounced Ambarsari) Kashmiri. Main Nawaz and Mian Shehbaz are both Ambarsari Kashmiris. Mian Nawaz paid tribute to the tradition, his handpicked Mayor being Mian Azhar, who was a Jalandhari Arain, like General Ziaul Haq. He is not the cause, but the result, of the typical Lahori actually being an Ambarsari Kashmiri.

So maybe Sadiq Khan defines the modern Londoner. Not a Cockney but a Paki. Khan is not just thought by some hopefuls to be able to issue a visa to anyone asking for one (he can’t), but because he proved Imran Khan fallible. Imran may be divorced from Jemima, but he still campaigned for the Tory candidate her brother Zack (Imran’s boys’ mama, which is a really important relationship, especially when one is divorced from the wife)

Imran is facing setback after setback these days. His PTI has put off its Faisalabad rally after the incident at the Lahore rally, where a woman was harassed. Imran won’t admit that PTI workers are the leading suspects, blaming it on PML(N) workers. Why not Shahbaz personally?

Maybe he could also blame the police guards. They’ve arrested a DSP for raping a girl in Kahna. The DSP is under suspension, and has been at odds with his department ever since he said some other senior cops were patronizing dacoits.

Maybe Imran’s ideal is the Goa MLA who was arrested for raping a girl. At least he’s facing no charges of monetary corruption. Closer home, the Terms of Reference battle continues. The opposition has drafted ToRs, but they are an uneasy compromise. The PPP did not agree that Mian Nawaz immediately hand over to Imran, nor the PTI that he hand over to Bilawal.

At least no politician is involved in the brutal burning in Abbottabad of a girl’s body for helping a friend elope. A Jirga ordered it. The eloping couple had better watch out, wherever they are. A person cannot be burnt, for that is a punishment the Almighty has reserved for Himself. Perhaps the problem is that eloping is not a crime, not if the couple gets married. However, it is frowned upon. If a couple is willing to be frowned upon, elders apparently go wild. There’s something going on in the whole area, for in Mansehra, a husband cut off his wife’s hair. And nose. That’s not just outside the list of any punishments, but plain barbaric.

Barbarism is afoot. Anyone rejoicing too hard at Sadiq Khan’s win in London, should look at Austria, where the Freedom Party leader led in the first round of the presidential election. The party is the sort of crypto-Nazi party riding the anti-immigrant wave throughout Europe today. Austria has a thing for Nazi-ism. Remember Dr Kurt Waldheim, the UN Secretary General, whose Nazi past was revealed when he ran for Austrian President? Have Austrians not got over the 1938 Anschluss, when they joined Germany? And Hitler’s World War I military service was in the Austrian Army.

Speaking of armies, what price the Rangers? In whose custody MQM diehard Aftab Ahmed died of inhuman torture. I know, it’s very sad, and bad for a Ranger to do it, but that’s what happens when a paramilitary organization does policing. Remember about three years ago, when a boy was shot by a Ranger? Indiscriminate firing, torture during interrogation. This sounds like the police. Still, the Rangers have been there for so long. I wonder if they have fallen prey to the other police failing. No, not rape. Taking bribes. I doubt it. Else Aftab would have been alive today. And Dr Asim Hussain wouldn’t be running so scared of Rangers if his relatives could have greased the right Ranger palms. COAS Gen Raheel Sharif is basking in the glory of having ordered an enquiry, as if he had the option of helping a cover-up.

Well, no one has been covering up the halwai’s brother, who confessed to putting pesticide in the sweets that killed 33 in Layyah. There it seems the local police was at work, for it seems another person has also confessed. Look, don’t blame those who confessed. It just takes five minutes with a DSP of the old school.

No DSP of the old school was involved in the stopping of the hijab-wearing woman from entering a museum in Padua, Italy. But the cops arresting an African-American hijab-wearing Muslim woman in Long Beach, California, said they were authorized to strip her hijab, would have won the approval of all DSPs.

True, they wouldn’t have arrested the Balochistan Finance Secretary, who was caught with Rs 730 milllion at home. They would have asked him for some of the money, and helped him escape. Now you’ve got a lot of worried bureaucrats telling each other that no wonder development in Balochistan was so expensive. I wonder if the Raisani tribe is going to rise in support of their tribesman. The PPP CM, Aslam Raisani, is the Nawab of Sarawan, and has a tough call.

Not a tougher call than Mickey Arthur, the South African picked to coach Pakistan. He has coached South Africa, which is more than Waqar Younis ever did. Well, let’s get ready to say, “Kill the coach!” Because though there’s a new coach, chief selector and captain, the performance will be the same.