Last week, Islamabad was like the internet – all the important sites were blocked. Thousands of real people and fake Facebook profiles marched towards the federal capital where they occupied a key location in the sensitive Red Zone. For the first time in Pakistan’s history, government officials had an actual excuse for not doing any work for three days. Many across the country praised the protest, arguing that it was a good way of keeping clerics off the streets in the rest of the country. Others were critical of religious pressure groups bringing the state to its knees – a phenomenon rarely seen in the Islamic republic.

Here’s the complete coverage:

Part 1: Sitting in or sitting out? Protests and public opinion

“The clerics marched into Islamabad and nobody stopped them. Now Chaudhry Nisar should march out of Islamabad and I promise you nobody will stop him either.” –Maulana Mushkook (rickshaw driver and part-time political analyst)

“My ex-boyfriend has been harassing me on the phone. I will appreciate if the government blocks mobile phone signals all over the city for another week or so.” –Shabnam Shirarty (beautician and dry cleaner)

“How were they able to march all the way to Islamabad? Someone should have told them we now have Uber in Pakistan.” –Lateef Lighter (executive chairman of human resource infrastructure development at private wireless engagement company)

“They wouldn’t have used such dirty language in their speeches if there were some women at that protest sit in” –Zaibunnisa Zombie (housewife and part-time magician)

“I think those people should have used Twitter to protest rather than occupying D Chowk. They would have been able to use filthier language online.” –Daniyal Donor (development professional and freelance photographer)

Part 2: Interview with a former Islamic extremist

This Scribe: Is it true that you are a former Islamic extremist ? How were you reformed?

Former Islamic Extremist : We have to address the root cause of Islamic extremism instead of dealing with the symptoms. Until last week, I was an Islamic extremist . Then, famous historian Yaqub Bangash wrote an article in a newspaper in which he changed the definition of an Islamic extremist . According to that definition, I am not an Islamic extremist . Thus I am a former Islamic extremist .

This Scribe: Why did you destroy two metro bus stations?

Former Islamic extremist : We just wanted to bring attention to the fact that the government has wasted public money on the project. Protest is a democratic right. I appeal to Chaudhry Nisar to build a separate metro bus service for people who want to arrive in the Red Zone for a sit-in.

This Scribe: And you also beat up reporters?

Former Islamic Extremist : We were exercising our democratic right on the bus station when some reporters began to record a biased coverage of the incident. So we began to exercise our democratic right on the reporters.

In the evening, many of us felt the need to exercise our democratic rights, but there were no men’s rooms close by. We began to exercise our democratic rights on the green belt, and used stones and leaves to fulfil our civic responsibilities. Some journalists reported these acts of non-violence on TV. Some emotional protestors reacted, causing the reporters to fulfill their democratic responsibilities in their pants.

Later, we asked reporters to stop airing vulgar programs on TV. They stopped running our speeches.

This Scribe: You also burned down vehicles. What did that motorcycle do to you?

Former Islamic Extremist : The owner of the motorcycle was offensive towards us when we politely declined to let him pass. He pointed to our sticks and said it appeared that we had sold all our balloons. His intention was clearly to ridicule us. He then went on to say that small drains could be cleaned better with bicycle mudguards rather than sticks, again with the purpose of ridiculing us. We asked him to put his hands up. He asked if we would shave his armpits. His purpose was again the same. Some protestors became emotional. They took him off his motorbike and ripped his clothes off. It was meanwhile getting dark. Some of us lit up his vehicle. The crowd then dispersed peacefully. The motorcyclist had earlier dispersed peacefully too.