It’s 2017 and a lot of progress has been made towards the betterment of the subjugated classes in society. Women’s rights, and even LGBTQ rights, have garnered a lot of support and achieved substantial success with influential personalities like Amal Clooney, Anne Hathaway, Emma Watson and Kerry Washington being among the many advocates for such rights. A lot of voices have been raised in defense of women’s rights, how feminism is not just about boosting women’s status but about gender equality and subsequently many have walked for such causes. And since social media is a powerful medium to propagate equality and highlight inequality, whoever has tried to perpetuate patriarchal norms has been met with incredible backlash. Case in point being President Trump’s laws about abortion, and holding meetings to discuss certain women’s rights, but without any females being privy to such an important legislative matter. However, after all the monumental progress that society has made, after decades of struggle, one thing that lacks its fair share of attention, and thereby still needs to be addressed, is gender norms associated with parenting. This issue isn’t just limited to the Pakistani society. It’s a problem that transcends national boundaries and can be observed in advanced countries as well. When it comes to parenting duties, society still has a long way to go.

I recently came across a video – by ATTN, featuring the star of Catfish Nev Schulman – that addressed gender stereotypes about parenting. It got me thinking, why are we still doing very little to end these parental gender stereotypes? Is it just because it is easy to be proponents for a woman’s right to work, for her to be considered as an independent individual than to take on this societal norm? Even more troubling is this recent surfacing of articles that assert that getting married is not an accomplishment, because a woman is meant for much more than just a hand in marriage and by getting married she may not be able to achieve her full potential. Yet none of these articles call for gender equality in a major responsibility for a married couple – child rearing. Don’t get me wrong, it is great that there is an increased awareness in societies across the globe about allowing women to work, to pursue their dreams rather than just marrying them off at an early age but at the same time, it is also very crucial for us to make it substantially clear that it is just as manly for a man to take care of their child as it is for the man to be conforming to other roles that society considers to be a man’s job.

One might think, since when does it make a man less “macho” if he equally participates in raising his children, after all he is as responsible for them as the woman, right? But what is observed in societies such as ours is that the gender bias dominates. The father may still be there for his son but the daughter, somehow her upbringing is the sole responsibility of the mother. Unfortunately, it is still pretty rare for the father to spend time with his daughter and play with her with all her “girly” toys and whatnot. Why? All for this socially constructed reason that somehow playing with your daughter’s toys is emasculating. Why should the father have to engage in such tasks that are considered feminine? Men belong in the office. Men belong at the gym. Men belong at the coffee houses. Men don’t belong in the kitchen. Men don’t belong in the nursery. Men don’t belong in the house all day long. But the women, oh she belongs in the kitchen and in the house, cooking food and keeping her baby’s diaper clean all day long alright. Women are just the only ones meant for the “mum” jobs. Dare she set foot outside the house!

It’s not the 1950s where the husband can expect to come home and expect the wife to greet him with a big wide smile to his “Honey I’m home” line, while having to take care of the children and making sure the house is in immaculate condition. It’s 2017! It is not okay for the man to just expect the woman to conform to the patriarchal roles.

Research shows that being raised by both parents equally has a huge positive impact on the child’s cognitive development. Yet even these studies are not enough to change our mindsets. It is not emasculating for a man to change his child’s diaper. It is not emasculating for a man to help clean the house. It is not emasculating for a man to play with his child. And it is certainly not emasculating for the man to take care of his children in the fullest possible form and shower them with love. Play with your daughter’s Barbie dolls, hold her pink schoolbag when you go pick her up and most importantly treat your sons and your daughters the same way. Lend a hand to your wife when it comes to doing household chores.

A little love goes a long way. And it is high time we start challenging gender stereotypes about parents.