Human cloning is the creation of a genetically identical copy of a human. The term is generally used to refer to artificial human cloning. The term clone is derived from an Ancient Greek word “klōn”. Recent developments in the medical science have made it possible to create identical human beings by taking the DNA and simply replicating it to create a new life. It seems that this latest research is much more relevant to Pakistan for there are many around us who can be immortalized through the use of this latest research.
To start with, we have our dear Ex-President, His Excellency Mr. Asif Ali Zardari. Although he has already donated most of his body organs, still his cloning will be a great service to the suffering humanity. The point to be noted here is that Mr. Zardari has not pledged his brain anticipating the fact that it might be used in another dimension of existence in the same ravishing way as was used on earth. It is said that if one is used to sufferings over a long period of time (five long years in this case) one can encounter bouts of insanity if the sufferings are withdrawn abruptly one day. To ensure the continuity of the sufferings, his cloning will act like breeze of fresh air. Now that the legacy of the Bhutto family has begun to fall apart, his slogans of "Jiyay Bhutto" shouted at full pitch needs preservation, if for nothing else, it can be at least used for scaring the kids by the parents.
The very concept of cloning cannot go forward without giving it an Islamic touch. Who else, but our dear Moulana Fazl-ur-Rehman, can be an exceptionally brilliant subject for cloning. However our lovely slim actress of the past Ms. Musarat Shaheen might not like the idea. But for the sake of politicizing the religion for generations to come, our Moulana will come handy. He is poetically always on the right side of the wrong. One should also keep in mind the depleting energy reservoirs and the increasing cost of diesel fuel in the international market. If he is not around, who else will be able to balance and manage the market forces?
The next personality I am going to write about is a mix of fear and comedy. Though he has not set foot on our soil for the past few decades now, but his fear and comedy speeches have touched millions. Mr. Altaf Hussain with his charismatic personality has ruled over the lives of many. Western world, especially Uncle SAM, can learn a lot from his expertise of dispatching the “body bags”. But above all, his singing and comedy talents need to be ingrained in the minds of our future generations. Trust me, his last speech was so hilarious that my children have stopped watching any other comedy show and are bothering me for months to allow them to watch his next performance. Next time if my article doesn't appear in this paper, please do send your condolences to my family.
The Da Vinci Code is a 2003 mystery-detective novel written by Dan Brown. Its two main characters are a “symbologist” and a “cryptologist” who investigate a murder in Paris's Louvre Museum. Had Mr. Dan Brown met our dear politician Choudhry Shujaat Hussain, the sale of his novel would have sky rocketed to billions. Choudhry Shujaat Hussain is a living legend whose language deciphering requires very advanced algorithms which the mathematicians have failed to come-up with so far. Though his spokesman Mr. Mushahid Hussain has been able to gain some expertise in translating his verbal utterings, however we are still millions of years away from getting to the bottom of what he speaks. Cloning him will give ample time to the researchers to come-up with some substantial research output. But this lovely politician has many other abilities which are hidden from the common men and cannot be downplayed. His interest in the "Dhamaal"s" performed by the dancing ladies from the questionable areas is a perfect example of his desire to work for the cause of preservation of our culture and heritage.
Last but not the least; we have Mr. Sheikh Rasheed (nick named “Sheeda Talli” by his admirers). He is rated among the top personalities wanted by all the media houses. If any channel wants to increase the ratings of its talk show, he is the best option. He has the ability to take you to the lowest levels of sensibilities in the shortest period of time. This attribute can have its roots to his remaining a chronic bachelor with a self-confession of not bringing to the “cow” to the home when the milk is available in the market. No offence to the cows. If not cloned, most of our media channels will go bankrupt.
Fast-forward to the Past. I have always loved a movie and a book for all the wrong reasons. The Movie was “Satyam Shivam Sundaram” (The True, The Good and The Beautiful), an Indian film made by Raj Kapoor casting the ravishing actress Zeenat Amaan. The book I am referring is titled “My Feudal Lord” written by Ms. Tehmina Durrani. Fast-Forward to the Present. These two remind me of two other great personalities; our dearest Mr. Imran Khan and the extremely hardworking politician Mr. Shahbaz Sharif. Cloning both of them will not be a bad option either.
As Richard Dawkins, an English ethologist, evolutionary biologist and an acclaimed author puts it “Cloning may be good and it may be bad. Probably it's a bit of both. The question must not be greeted with reflex hysteria but decided quietly, soberly and on its own merits. We need less emotion and more thought.” Think dear readers; cloning the above referred souls is after all not a bad option. Trust me.
The writer is a PhD in Information Technology, alumni of King’s College London and a social activist. He is life member of the Pakistan Engineering Council and senior international editor for IT Insight Magazine. He has authored two books titled Understanding Telecommunications and Living In The Grave and several research papers.