Humans, among all other creations, are particularly blessed by Divinity with the amazing trait and ability to establish, understand, and value ‘relationships’. As infants, all reckon by divine design, the need to establish ‘relationships’ with parents—initially with the mother and later with the father.

The infant child quickly discovers that a sustainable relationship with parents is necessary to ensure care, from being fed to being nurtured. Infants commit to a lifelong relationship with their parents; this commitment arises from a natural acceptance of their dominant presence. This acceptance is based on an unspoken assurance that no harm will come to them because of the bond with their parents. This faith in the relationship emerges from empathy, compassion, love, attachment, and above all, trust, which begins to develop between offspring and parents. This bond is so well entrenched that it later allows for tendencies of mutual exploitation; the affinity is saturated with emotions. Oscar Wilde said, “Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older, they judge them; sometimes they forgive them.” Virtue is a reward in itself, and having a relationship is a virtue. Trust is critical for relationships to prosper. It is more unbecoming to doubt people than to be deceived by them.

A relationship is the state of being connected; it could be a connection with people or things. Merriam-Webster records that the word ‘relationship’ was first used in 1741. No relationship can last if there is an awkward question agitating or lurking in the mind: “What am I getting?”

Relationships are therefore multifaceted and can involve a large variety of people from different segments of society, from the elitist to the underprivileged. We start, build, foster, and grow various relationships that demand focused attention.

For the purposes of this piece, I shall restrict myself to relationships in the corporate and business world. Even in this specific sphere, we encounter a plethora of relationships as individuals that require skills to establish enduring bonds. We bring our internal make-up into play when interacting with others. Most put their best foot forward, with all necessary defences being up, and thus, it is good virtue to face similar virtues in others; the consequence is a fair and stable relationship. However, the art of relationship management is most needed when two or more individuals are in conflict. It is rightly said that true character emerges only in adversity and contradiction.

Since the field and dimension of relationship management is vast, only a few aspects of the variety are discussed here.

“Friendship (read relationship) is constant in all other things, save in office and affairs of love” (William Shakespeare). Self-serving subordinates or even peers can make or ruin one’s reputation through relationships. Apprehension grips the establishment of trust in a relationship. Not all colleagues can be trusted equally for the creation of sound relationships. Every person has a different background and experience, which guides their behaviour. Michael Heseltine, the Defence Secretary in Margaret Thatcher’s cabinet, who might have made it to 10 Downing Street but for her, once remarked, “There are some who do not stretch out their hands for fear it will be bitten. But those who never stretch out their hands will never feel it clasped in a relationship.” The risk of reaching out must be faced if there is a desire to build a relationship.

In our corporate life, the most significant relationship is that between the supervisor and the supervised. To have a good understanding, both must demonstrate, in their everyday behaviour with each other, unalloyed respect. The discussions must be open, with no fear of uncalled-for reprisals from the supervisor. While maintaining divergent views, both must excel in harmonising their opinions. The managed must not be ridiculed by the manager for dissenting opinions. Relationships demand maturity in accepting each other. No professional should behave like a primary school student, abandoning lines of communication because of minor disputes. Never stop communicating, even with your foes and adversaries; dialogue is the solution to disputes.

Relationship management is particularly delicate when supervising the opposite gender. Extreme caution should be exercised to ensure that the working relationship does not lead to emotional entanglements or setbacks. Distance is necessary in such situations, regardless of which gender is the supervisor; workplace harassment has the potential to be a two-way street.

As supervisors and professionals, the need for relationships should not be restricted to just the peer group on the hierarchy chart. While lateral relationships should be focused upon, it is equally imperative to develop sound working relationships with junior staff in other areas of the organisation. Since professional growth is both vertical and horizontal, working relationships across the corporate ladder is a worthwhile objective.

In relationships with vendors, the element of conflict of interest must remain in focus. The slightest compromise on this fundamental aspect can irreparably blemish uprightness, honesty, and integrity. There should be no friendship with vendors, as closeness can cloud judgement. The saying of Hazrat Ali, “He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare, and he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere,” must reign supreme when accepting or approving contracts.

Similarly, relationships with competitors, market co-participants, and regulators should be based on the highest principles of ethical and moral standards. Adherence to the code of conduct and governance and the adoption of internationally accepted best practices will guarantee the creation of formidable relationships in the marketplace. Relationships founded on lofty ethical standards are not only respected but also sustainable.

Regrettably, in the ruthless business world, “Almost all of our relationships begin and most of them continue as forms of mutual exploitation, a mental or physical barrier to be terminated when one or both parties run out of goods” (W.H. Auden).

Our respective personalities influence our relationships. The state of our happiness or otherwise depends on the emotional quality of our inner person’s happiness; if it is not genuine, it will quickly wreck even the soundest of relationships. The beauty of any relationship must find its expression by integrating a part of another person into oneself.

If forming a relationship is difficult, it is even more challenging to maintain its sustainability over a long period.

Relationships are delicate and fragile; they must be nurtured and cared for with sensitivity and heightened emotional responses.

Sirajuddin Aziz
The writer is a senior banker and freelance contributor.