Memes, Facebook, Twitter, and Zoom are the new pills which now every Pakistani needs to administer to him or herself with a 1+1+1 prescription per day whether it’s a formal, smart or smart casual lockdown as per the diplomatic dress codes. These pills interestingly also provide antidote for each other. The first pill taken before breakfast - Facebook - helps create anxiety and depression. Its affects are supersonic: the daily changing numbers of death toll in Pakistan, further narrowing it down to your own city and then bifurcating the city further into blocks and sectors helps to cause instant gloominess to a normal healthy mind as the algorithm in there is all topsy-turvy. Facebook pill is available free of cost so every home has it in abundance these days. Then there is Facebook Plus which is doctored by personal experiences and the content is injurious to health. Deplorable conditions of the hospital, images of dying patients, funerals in PEE wear and videos of vulnerable families in anguish send chills down one’s spine. This depression lasts for a couple of hours and the need for Twitter drops come handy. Twitter drops works as a homeopathic dose as its usage does not provide an instant relief but at the same time there are no side effects. A few drops of Dr. ZafarMirza or Shahbaz Gill’s tweets give boost to the brain and provide a hint of relief caused by the first Facebook pill. The first two government functionaries, build stamina in the body to fight their bête noir Marriyum Aurangzeb or MurtazaWahab’s droplets which are readily available but taken at one’s own will or as a second opinion. Twitter drops taken from time to time help create a balance between all is well and all is not well mind-frame. It also keeps oneself abreast of what is available in the market.

Meme pill is not restricted to thrice a day prescription. It is advised to gnaw it rather than taking it with water. However having said that, this pill is not time-bound, it can be taken even before or after Facebook or Zoom or Twitter drops. Meme releases happy hormones and there are no side effects. Memes come in two different packagings: one is state-mate cream and the other is called private pill. The state-mate cream is only good for those who have been diagnosed with Hafeez Sheikh influenza or suffering from Buzdar burns or even getting infested by Asad Umar syndrome. If the cream is of high potency, it can cause ripple down effects as it opens flood gates of happy hormones which last throughout the day.

One good thing about the meme pill is that it is extremely effective for contagious patients and takes nanoseconds to catch it. On the other hand private pill is more commercial and is used by all and sundry. Now-a-days market is flooded with meme private pills and the milligrams dosage varies from time to time.

But to savour the organic flavour of these private pills and the state-mate cream, buy only the packing with a logo of a red ball with spikelets on the outer surface. It is on sale these days.

Zoom capsule works wonders for working class patients. Ideally one capsule in the morning after breakfast keeps the patient on the toes throughout the day.

It is usually administered by a senior doctor sitting in his very own clinic and giving treatment to every patient of his as per their diagnosis. The Zoom capsule bottle carries the insignia “You can run but you can’t hide” and the doctor ensures to follow it.

Laughter, the best medicine comes in the form of meetings of Ninja Turtles sporting green, blue and white masks of different makes and sizes.

These Ninja turtle hold flummoxed meetings from Khyber to Karachi and the purpose is to discuss and update the distribution network of the sugar-coated pills manufactured in their factories for public consumption. Their task is tough as by the end of every meeting, a new pill must be approved by the attendees. These pills are also called “KhatiMethiGolyoun” and they are all dissolvable. But one needs to know before buying that its effect lasts only for 24 hours. Sadly speaking, the only antibiotic available in Pakistan right now is “GhubranaNehin.”